about

< I am a Christian and I am a mother >
Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.

advice

34/F

I am deciding whether to let my friend go. I’ve felt I don't wish to be her friend for over a year, however we have been friends since the 1st day of highschool and I do love her. I just feel like she is a huge drain on me and I always feel worse (stressed, sad, no energy) after talking to her or seeing her.

She was studying and working for a long time, and so I would always be the one making time for her, going through to see her, phoning at times that were convenient for her. Lately she’s had some big news (moving home, pregnancy), and again I’m the one making all the compromises.

I know I need to accommodate her but she has now said I can't email her because she doesn't have time to reply, and when I try to phone she doesn't pick up. I can't arrange a time to see her if we can't communicate. My last email to her (2 days ago) suggested 3 possible time slots for a phone call. She hasn’t replied. I’ve done this before (suggested times to call) but she hasn’t responded to these requests.

Lately when I do get to talk to her, she adds to the pile of stressors in her life, citing medical problems and more. She is a liar by nature and I now wonder if she is saying these things to gain my sympathies? It reeks of Victim Complex/Histrionic Personality Disorder, but obviously I can’t say this on the off-chance that it is all true. Her issues are vague, like ante natal depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, IBS, spastic colon - all "non-provable" things. The latest is that she has a "bad heart" or something.

I have told her I will speak to her in 6 weeks as I am too busy to chase her down for a phone call, but she has sent me petulant text messages, wondering whether I am as busy as I say I am (I really am!). She has become this huge, negative influence in my life but it is not easy to end it. My mother says I should protect & fight for my female friends as they will be there for me in the future like no-one else will.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate any comments.

OMgosh I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts. I have a cousin that I grew up with almost like sisters. She's always been a lier for no reason WHATSOEVER! She's always "going through so much" RIGHT!!! SHe used to be a drain on my life but lately as you stated she's become distant.I think these people really need help. I think we (normal people) try to understand why they act as they do but the bottom line is I don't think they know why they act as they do. My cousin however has since become involved with another girl who is the same way. I couldn't handle one and now I'm certainly not going to deal with both of them so I've moved on. They always come around when they need something and I'm always there but it gets old. We don't have time for this and their games. Lets go on with our lives.

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(Rating: 5) Sorry for the late rating, I had some problems with my account. Thank you!
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