I am a female who has been through many things in life. I've made a few foolish choices; but have also made a few okay ones. I feel like hopefully the mistakes I've made or the experiences I've been through can help others avoid pain and/or heartache; so that's why I joined. I wished in life someone had shared their true experiences with me if they were similar and could help.
Most people telling me not to do something; had no idea what I was going through. It was like those y?, non-smoking commercials all over tv and you can tell the people behind them never picked up a cigarette or understand why you did. I've managed to quit; but the commercials still infuriate me.
So that's me. And, I'll try to help if I can.
Member Since: November 23, 2008
Answers: 30
Last Update: June 5, 2011
Visitors: 5275
Main Categories:
Music
Love Life
Friendship
View All
|
| |
|
I am from india. My boyfriend is unhappy with me. All I can do is cry everyday. I dint treat well in the beggining. Gave my friends more importance n all..I cheated on him once and begged for forgiveness. He said forgave me. But everytime we fight he brings it up. Feels like shit.why is he still with me if he can't forget wat I did. He says he can't sleep without drinking every nite,make him very unhappy and disturb him a lot. But he says he can't be without me. I'm trying to change to make him, us happy but all he says is he's not happy with me. It hurts so much!! I really don't wanna live a life thinking how unhappy I made him. If I die maybe in my next life atleast ican be a better person. When we started going out he was the nicest guy ever! Then I changed. God knows why. I was really rude to him amd fought a lot. And he changed after that too seeing me all differnet.we both are so fuckn unhappy. He doesn't easily forget any small mistake I make. Anything I say by mistake also he'll fight with me. If there is any advice to make things normal again, please give me. Or else atlease tell me how to kill myself. Whatever I try I'm scared I'll end up alive and be a huge disgrace for my family.I really love him so much and I'd even die if my non existence makes him happy too. Its because of me he's like this now. I can never forgive myself. Never. (link)
|
Okay suicide is never the answer. Right now there are several things going on. For some reason, you were not happy with him, so you were unfaithful. He is staying with you either because he is codependent and afraid to be alone, or he wants to torture you. I know you might not want to hear it, but he does not love you.
In any event, the two of you are feeding off of one another in a way you especially are bound to regret. I know you feel guilty right now, but if you cheated, there is something about him that you were unhappy with. On his end, he should have broken up with you. But it sounds like he might not have had the self-confidence to do so, meaning he might be suffering from a very deep depression. Or he could have broken up with you, yet he can tell that you are easily manipulated, and has decided to make you feel horrible until you do yourself harm.
That said, cheating is an awful thing to do to someone, and karma will come calling for you if he truly was a good man to you. But the best thing for you to do right now, is to live well, and hang on. Do unto others from now on as you would have them do unto you, and your life will be much easier.
It is also a good idea for you to spend a few years alone getting to know who you are. Another person should not be able to make you want to kill yourself. You are very easily swayed by outside forces. The famous quote is a person that stands for nothing falls for anything. You really do not know who you are, and your mind is young. As you gain wisdom, you do not do things like cheat, because you know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Get to know yourself, what you're about, what makes you you.
You might be the type of person that does not want to settle down with one person, and that is fine. But if you are, then you should be honest with the people you date, and not sneak around behind their backs, and be prepared to share them with other partners as well.
As you sow, so shall you reap. So whatever you do to someone else, expect it to be returned to you, or don't do it all. Get away from anyone that makes you contemplate suicide. There's a dark weird dynamic between the 2 of you, and though you cheated, it sounds like he has the upper hand. Oh and by the way, abused women usually cheat. These are the same women who typically would not cheat, but the desire to cheat is almost uncontrollable when a woman is being emotionally or physically abused, which though you say you were really happy before you cheated, it kind of sounds to me like you were being mentally abused, and you just might not realize it yet.
|
|
Rating: 4
|
Number one. i slept with my ex back then. we had broken up and one drunken night i called and shit happened. my current boyfriend was studying in singapore. my ex had actually cheated on me and thats why i had t break up. nnow why the fuck would i call him ?? wat kind of a person does that make me?!
Number two. i give too much space to guys, he says. ok whenever someone talks to my im extra friendly. i talk a lot. and this makes my boyfriend feel i have more fun with other guys n not him. i even used to talk to guys who had a crush one me. why wud i do that!
he fell for me, not for any physical thing. he was so totallly shy to make any moves on him. he treated so fuckin wel! but i took advantage of that. amd here i am facing the consequences. i deserve it. but im tryn to make things better. i really dono how to go abt making him trust me again. itll take some time.. after i posted my previous question, the next day he tell me he's gonna gimme another chance but i shudnt screw it up. we went for a movie n all had fun yday. loads. but im worried deep inside where id screw it up. noone has ever loved me like he did. noone treated me so special. its hard to trust guys these days. but him, he's one special guy. it's me who has changed him like this. into a monster.
hope i can change him back into the loving and caring guy, who used to make sure i was comfortable and then think abt himself. he was the perfect guy i had always wanted.. wat the hell do i do to change him back!!?
|
|