about

Ello ^^; Name's Maria. I love giving people my opinion about their situations to try and help them see things from different angles and finally helping them come up with the best possible solutions. I am willing to answer a question from any category to the best of my knowledge. I've been through quite a bit myself, who hasn't? In some of my answers, I'll give examples of situations in my life in which I can relate to. It all depends on the type of question I am asked and how it is asked. I like to read things that make sense, but if you have trouble explaining your situation, I won't give up on you for a mix up on words or terrible grammar; you're only human ^-^. Overall, I hope I can help as much as possible with my advice. I will always try to say things in the nicest way possible so as not to hurt anyone's feelings; nonetheless, I'll be fairly honest with you. If you've read this far into my description, thank you for your time, and hopefully your life is running smoothly at the moment. If you're worried about something and you are confused on what to do about the situation, feel free to ask away! I'm glad to help. :)

advice

hi there...

22/f


i am stuck in a really crappy situation...

i had a bad bad experience last year. first there was a guy who totally used me (i should have seen that one coming but as it "could never happen to me" given that it was my first relationship" i didn't know how to say no cause i wasn't sure of anything... anywayyy...) school pressure, prof truing to make a move on me, parents pressuring me, money...etc. i ended up seeking an escape by getting involved with a bunch of people who are not exactly innocent...

i mean every one has fun, but these guys are on things every weekend if not drunk or partying or hooking up or getting people to hook up after fucking them up... they're an average of 3 years older than me, and much much much more experienced than i am...

i thought after that first fling with a guy that else could be out there that's wilder than that? and that is what i want to do since i am no longer naive so that sorta got me initiated into their group...because i had "potential to get corrupted" i don't judge people which is why i have so many friends with different views and lifestyles... i am okay with what they do but i can't handle these new friends without my life crumbling down...

but i can't seem to say no (as usual) and i keep getting sucked into it!!! how do i get my life back!!! how do i sever them out of it if need be without repercussions... i am not comfortable doing what they do at all... and i've got to get my act together cause i am beginning to flunk school!!!! HELP

oh and one of the girls in particular is super manipulative and she is almost psychopathic and is dressing like me talking like me always trying to find commonalities between us... sometimes i feel i am turning into her puppet. or doll she is very very dominant and i can never say no without indirectly getting the sense that i am threatened and that i will regret it...

i got sucked into it deep to the point where plans are already made for me, and if one thing isn't in common i am expendable and that i will be ruined....

what do i do??? i can't let my family or friends find out since i am pretending to have my act together!!

I can relate to this indubitably. My advice can be summed up in three simple words:

STAND. YOUR. GROUND.

Don't be afraid to be different from these people. Remember who you are and what YOU want. If you want acceptance, you don't need it from these people because they apparently affect you in a negative way.

Let me address that guy who didn't have anything better to do than to play you. His disgrace will now serve to you as an example. You were an innocent creature who was seized by some senseless asshole. Now you are much more aware of certain signs you couldn't see in a person before. Just don't assume every guy will try to mess with you that way again; yet be more observant.

If you see that these people are making you drift away from your aspirations, you need to drift away from THEM. You're stronger than that, don't freak out.

That girl that is your puppet, she needs to find herself. Be 100% honest with her, and don't give a rat's ass what she will say to you. Focus on what you want to say to her. I think you should tell her how you feel about her in a nice way so she won't take things too harshly. If this fails, you go about your business, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone unless you want to. Bottom line, you seem like you care about yourself and school. Don't let people bring you down in these ways. Stand your ground.

[view]

(Rating: 5) thank you so much! i really cant express how much you lifted my spirits. the problem with the girl is that she is passive aggressive and seriously messed up. i didn't know this at first but she is some sort of psychopath... she would scheme revenges and plot against people who harm or diss or drift away from her... and she and her other friends have pictures of me piss drunk! and those pictures can never see the day of light since my dad's job depends on that. it was a big mistake but i sincerely was going through a rough time and i am so scared of what these people might do...
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