Member Since: August 19, 2009
Answers: 20
Last Update: February 27, 2011
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Xui
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hi there...
22/f
i am stuck in a really crappy situation...
i had a bad bad experience last year. first there was a guy who totally used me (i should have seen that one coming but as it "could never happen to me" given that it was my first relationship" i didn't know how to say no cause i wasn't sure of anything... anywayyy...) school pressure, prof truing to make a move on me, parents pressuring me, money...etc. i ended up seeking an escape by getting involved with a bunch of people who are not exactly innocent...
i mean every one has fun, but these guys are on things every weekend if not drunk or partying or hooking up or getting people to hook up after fucking them up... they're an average of 3 years older than me, and much much much more experienced than i am...
i thought after that first fling with a guy that else could be out there that's wilder than that? and that is what i want to do since i am no longer naive so that sorta got me initiated into their group...because i had "potential to get corrupted" i don't judge people which is why i have so many friends with different views and lifestyles... i am okay with what they do but i can't handle these new friends without my life crumbling down...
but i can't seem to say no (as usual) and i keep getting sucked into it!!! how do i get my life back!!! how do i sever them out of it if need be without repercussions... i am not comfortable doing what they do at all... and i've got to get my act together cause i am beginning to flunk school!!!! HELP
oh and one of the girls in particular is super manipulative and she is almost psychopathic and is dressing like me talking like me always trying to find commonalities between us... sometimes i feel i am turning into her puppet. or doll she is very very dominant and i can never say no without indirectly getting the sense that i am threatened and that i will regret it...
i got sucked into it deep to the point where plans are already made for me, and if one thing isn't in common i am expendable and that i will be ruined....
what do i do??? i can't let my family or friends find out since i am pretending to have my act together!! (link)
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If you can't just drop these people out of your life then you need to be stronger when your around them. Lay down the law and develop strong beliefs that can't be touched by others, people will respect you if you come off as confident and sure of yourself. Having control of your voice and body language is very important if you say no to someone and your voice is shaky, or you say it to fast, and your head is down your no isn't going to be taken serious at all and people will pick up on this. Try speaking loud and slowly make direct eye contact and keep good pasture. Also learn to be unaffected emotional by people. People can read other people very easily they can see how the things they say and do effect you emotional and can work on this but if you are unaffected emotional, if you can maintain a solid unchanging state people will lose power over you.
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Rating: 4
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i have no idea how to do that! and i am so scared of them if i say no no matter how strong they find a way to wreck my life!!
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