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Alright I'm a 19 year old male,and I've known this girl for a lot of my life. In the past two years we've realized that we have feelings for each other. Due to a series of complicated events she's actually been dating another guy for almost two years living with him for more than one.
Their relationship has always been tenious at best as he is abusive and controlling (she told me herself I've had to take her in to the hospital for the damage he's done) Unfortunately whenever we do get together (I've been living in another city for a while now) we end up kissing, telling each other how much we love each other, I've never had sexual relations as I won't condone cheating more than we have. Sorry for the long story, just on new year's I finally told her that we should be together but due to the vast distance and her lack of place to live if she leaves her boyfriend the only option is for her to live with me in a new city, basically should I ask her to move in with me? Thank you in advance for your help.
To begin, there is another question you must ask yourself before you ask if you should move in with her, and that question is: What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life?
Have you talked to her about her leaving her boyfriend? If she wanted to leave her boyfriend, she would have done so already.
How do you know she isn't going to cheat on you, when she's cheated on her boyfriend with you?
I think that you need to spend more time talking to her about what she wants to do about her boyfriend before you move her into your place. If she means a lot to you, you need to sit her down somewhere and explain to her the rules and regulations of living with you. She needs to know that if she is to live with you, no more contact with her boyfriend.
It sounds like you are responsible, but do not forget about yourself in a situation where you are also helping and loving her. If this goes wrong, you are going to need just as much help as you will give her so take this seriously.
Moving in with someone is very different from meeting them at a pizza place everyday. There are habits and problems they might have that you don't even know about and that's something you'll have to get used to.
To answer your question: Yes, you should ask her to move in with you, but only after explaining to her what your worries, rules, and regulations are.
Good luck, hope all goes well.
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Thank you very much, that actually makes sense. I understand the risks and if she were anyone else I might not take them, but I'm putting my hopes up and I'm going to talk to her about it tomorrow. Thank you so much.
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