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This is for guys, but if a women has asked their boyfriend or husband the same thing and can answer this, feel free to answer too. Why do men watch porn if they are in a relationship? (link)
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It's not about replacing women. That's such a self centered notion.
Men have different needs. The need for sex in us is somewhat physical. There are measurable stress results on the body when men have an unexpressed degree of sex drive.
Male masturbation is a result of the desire for physical release. We're wired to get horny, and at times it's straight up infuriating. From the 14 year old who gets an erection at inappropriate times to the guy in his 20s with a young wife who bought some lingeree he can't stop thinking about (during work or school when he needs to focus) guys just want sex. We can't help it.
It's entirely logical that a guy who knows he's going to be horny regularly would seek to relieve it regularly, either through sex or solo play. Being able to sacrifice 10-20 minutes of your day to get sex off your mind for the rest just makes sense.
Add to that the degree to which sexual kinks are still treated with discomfort in the world, and the fact that no two partners are ever perfectly compatible, and you've got a market. Something that causes direct physical arousal and aids in relief while simultaneously giving you an outlet for a fantasy which is for whatever reason not a part of your regular sex life. Or just something that echoes a fantasy that is expressed when you can't actually have sex.
Emotionally speaking, it's not a replacement. Imagine you're reading a romance novel and some part of it reminds you of a fight you just had with your partner. That's probably going to make you put the book down, or at least kill the enthusiasm a little bit.
That's with reading, where it's all down for you to follow. Imagine being in that situation while masturbating in a room alone looking at and reading nothing. You don't even have a channel to redirect your thoughts. Porn is there so that you can have a focus. Something that prevents distraction and allows you to focus on the matter at hand.
Which is an orgasm, and nothing more.
Porn can be a problem when it affects the sex life, but the vast majority of the time it only affects the sex life when insecurity comes into play.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks! Your insight was dead on about what I was thinking. I am not bothered at all at him watching porn (as I do too lol) But I was merely curious as to why he does, compared to why I do. I suppose the best thing you said is that two partners are not completely compatible. Porn is an outlet to play out fanatasies that are uncompatible in the relationship. Very helpful! Thanks!
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