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Location: No where you've heard of. Member Since: July 16, 2007 Answers: 2588 Last Update: April 13, 2014 Visitors: 98533
Main Categories: Love Life Random Weirdos Mental health View All
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I am 19 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend (21) for the past five years. He has a full time job and I have been working part time while going to college (I am a sophomore).
We both want to move out together in the near future and have been talking a lot about starting a family. When I told him I still hadn't picked up my birth control this month, he told me not to worry about it becase at this juncture in our life he was ready to let whatever is going to happen just happen.
This has kind of thrown me for a loop, because I really want children and I want to have them at a fairly young age. However I also wanted to be settled before starting a family. Unfortunately I plan on getting a Master's degree, which will take at least another three or four years. I definitely don't want to wait that long, but I am worried about how my family and friends would take me getting pregnant now.
I guess my question is if it's irresponsible to have a child now, even though my boyfriend and I both work, go to college, and want to start a family? We still obviously want to finish up our plans, but want to add a baby to the mix.
Thoughts? (link)
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Wait till 25.
Seriously.
I'm 26, my wife is a few years older than you are. Believe me, we've got the same issues under discussion.
Think about it this way. Having kids changes your life entirely. Your priorities are different, your life and daily routine are entirely different. If you have kids at 19 or 20, you'll have exactly that much real life experience to hand them before they have to make the same choices you did to get really good advice.
You really aren't your own person yet. You're not done becoming an adult at 19-22. You need to establish an adult life for yourselves, and for christs sake you need to be married before you have kids.
That's not a moral issue. That's about finances, and the ability to combine resources legally to support the kids.
You've got the right idea. The baby bug hits all serious couples your age. Get through or mostly through college. Don't saddle yourselves with a time commitment you can't handle. You have time in your lives for work, school, or babies. Pick two.
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Rating: 5
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At least I know we aren't the only ones now :)
I'm guessing you mean I am going to school and work now, so I have to wait for school to be over to choose work and babies. Nice :)
Anyways, thanks. What you said about marriage really makes sense.
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