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maxim_grey@yahoo.comMember Since:
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I'm Max.Want an honest answer to the burning questions that keep you up all night?
You've come to the right advice column.
advice
I'm really shy, always have been! don't really have that many friends at school, I mean, I have friends, but i'm not popular.. Everyday I get asked by atleast 3 people why I am so quiet? why do people ask that? it's obviously because I am shy. Why does it bother people so much, I mean I am not doing anything to them! I feel like everyday people are judging me, talking about me, etc. I want to know how to overcome shyness I want to have fun in highschool, because right now I dread going everyday! I know in order to overcome it you have to learn to talk to people but it's not that easy, I never know what to say! I don't like expressing my feelings to people. Also, when people ask me why I am so quiet what can I say back to them? because, I never know how to answer their questions..
I used to get this question all the time. Just ask them back, "Why do you have to be so loud?"
People don't like what they don't understand. Most people aren't very self-aware, and get scared when they see someone intelligent enough to entertain themselves within their own mind. Most people feel uncomfortable with themselves, so much so that they hate being alone in silence with their own thoughts. Lots of people are actually afraid to be quiet, afraid to look within themselves. Actually, when you're pretty quiet, what you say has a much bigger impact than when you're constantly chattering.
However, don't think that because you're not as chatty as other people that you can't have friends.
To relax, take deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
This breathing relaxes people immensely, and others will be drawn to you when you're relaxed.
Also, smiling attracts people.
Do you want to hang around with someone always moping around, quiet or not?
No! Of course not!
Smile at people wherever you go, and they'll see that you're happy and confident (even if you're really not).
When you're talking to people, there's a game you can play to keep the conversation going.
Pick one word from what the other person says and expand on that, without actually telling them you're playing this game. Just do it in your head. For example:
You: "Do you play any sports?"
Them: "Well, I'm really into swimming."
You: "Swimming? I love to go swimming! Where do you swim?"
Them: "I have a pool in my backyard, actually."
You: "Really? That's awesome! You know, I used to have a pool at my old house, before I moved."
Them: "Where did you live before?"
Etc.
Good luck.
(Rating: 5) Thanks!
I will definitely take your advice.
Usually, I am just shy at school, at home i'm a completely different person. I guess at school I feel like I am constantly being judged, and I am scared of expressing myself to people, because it gets around in highschool.. Also, I am verrry self consious about my teeth.. I have been made fun of since I was little because my teeth used to be yellow.. even my own family members made fun of me. even though I got that whole problem fixed I am still scared to smile infront of people at my school! I guess half of my shyness goes along with my self esteem? I do have friends, but even around them I am still shy.
if I see them outside of school though i'm not shy at all! it's confusing. Ha!
but anyways, thanks :)
you give great advice.