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Q: Ok, so this will be pretty long. (sorry). I am 17 and my boyfriend is almost eighteen. We have been together for almost three years straight, and we have had our ups and downs. I understand in relationships everyone argues but when we argue its brutal. We have discussed things we need to work on, mine for instance is not to get an attitude so much and not to yell but to speak calmly. So everytime we argue I dont do those things and I make sure not to at all. But its not good enough. No matter how quiet or nicely I talk its like we still argue just as bad, if not worse. Whenever we argue its like its always my fault, and he makes sure I know he feels that way every second of the argument. It's like he tells me every single thing I do wrong, but when I even hint to him doing one thing wrong he either twists it to me causing it somehow, or he says im fussing at him. I mean the arguments never ever get physical by no means, not even close, but its just like me fixing things in order to make our relationship better just is not good enough. But I mean another thing we argue about is him going out with his friends. Like whenever we hang out all he wants to do is sit at the house, but when hes with his friends he is always going out to eat, or going out sitting outside of "wal mart.?" But when I ask him to go somewhere he says he does not feel like it. I try talking to him about it but all he says is he cant help it if he dont feel like going anywhere and for me to stop bugging him so much. He says he is happy just staying at home with me because I am fun no matter what we do. But he says he gets bored with his friends so he has to go somewhere. I mean, I know I have made it seem like we argue 24/7 but we rarely argue. Its just when we do its horrible. It never gets better at all until I cry. When we are not arguing its wonderful, and we get along so great. We are like best friends. I just want to know what to do that could make our arguing better, because it needs help bad. Please, no answers saying to break up, or we arent meant to be because that is most certainly not right. We have grown up together since we were born, and we have been best friends for years before we started dating. We have our ups and downs but we truly love each other. Just please help with what to do about the arguing, I need some help fast. Thanks so much in advance.
--Taylor
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did it ever occur to you ti may be a power trip for him, to make you cry? All i really get from this is how you are always tyo blame, you are the one made to feel awful...it takes two my dear. It's about mutual respct; love is gentle and kind; love forgives and moves on...apparently, unless i am missing something, there is not much love, patience or forgivness here...
my best, honest adivce is this: take a break from each other for awhile...seriously; it is not doing either one of you any good to be beating each other up verally and emoitonally. That is not healthy at all...
hope this helps and good luck. Maybe u deserve better and just don't know it...
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yeah your advice did not help at all, and apparently you did not get my question. i theorally explained to you that we are very much in love and most of the time we get along great. and exactly what do you mean it takes two, and about "mutual respect and forgiveness"? moving on and forgiving was never an issue in this case, nor did I make it seem that way at all so apparently you did not understand what advice i was looking for. thanks for trying but obviously you have the wrong idea. as for taking a break from each other, or me deserving better, no thanks. i will take other peoples advice that actually understand and work on things as a couple. as for deserving better, despite our arguing i have a fantastic amazing boyfriend, and we will get through this. thanks for trying but it was not much help.
oh and btw, you claim we are beating "each other up" and i have no earthly idea where you got that idea.
---Taylor
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bio
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i majored in psychology for several years so am pretty good with human nature, relationships, etc and i love to help people. Sometimes it just clicks when an answer is given, maybe worded a different way and u figure it out...drop me a question, leave a note, i'd like to hear from you...take care, and thank you for asking.
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: florida Occupation: secuirty Age: 40 Member Since: July 31, 2010 Answers: 51 Last Update: September 13, 2010 Visitors: 4880
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