Member Since: July 29, 2010
Answers: 302
Last Update: March 19, 2011
Visitors: 17892
|
| |
So I am in a relationship with a man that I really treasure and don't want to lose. We met in January, and we started out as friends with benefits but quickly became best friends and fell hard for each other.
My concern is that I've had a bit of a past, ie I've slept around. I've changed now, and I'm not sure if my boyfriend knows about my past or the extent of it, we never talked about it before. My question is should I tell him? In case he doesn't know, I don't want guys from school telling him that I've slept around, and then him to hold it against me. I want to know that he accepts me regardless of my past. I don't want it to come up in the future of our relationship, I want him to know that yes I do come with a not so likable past. So do I tell him? Or just hope he already knows?
Thanks, 19/f (link)
|
You are right to tell him.
He has a right to know you have had previous sexual partners. He does not need to know exactly how many, who, or what you did.
He needs to know that you have been screened for STDs, even if you used condoms. He needs to know you have stopped having sex with other people.
He needs some time to get this into his head.
Some men can take it in stride, and some cannot.
If, after a little while, this news makes you a second class person in his life, if he thinks of you as less than you were before, takes digs at you, if he brings it up all the time or can't stop thinking about it, be cautious. You deserve to be aa fully loved as before, and don't settle for less.
I know this is scary, thinking that this could be a make-or-break situation in your relationship, but it's far better to find that out than 5 years and 1 child down the road. This will be character revealing, and really, you are better off knowing what kind of man he really is now.
Even if he already knows, the two of you need to talk this over.
___________________________________
Sounds like he knows the basics. How is he dealing with that?
I don't think you need to enumberate your past partners or compare notes with him and see who has been more active. That kind of information can be really destructive. Is he wanting more information?
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
He does know I had previous sex partners, and he knows I'm clean for STD's, and he knows I stopped being sexually active with other people. So I don't need to tell him that maybe I have had a bit more sex partners than he thinks? Please add to your answer, thanks! =) ADDED: Thank you so much for adding to your answer. No, he is not wanting any info, but I am known in certain groups of people at my school for my "past"
|
|