A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
Visitors: 107440
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All
|
| |
|
Hey guys, I'm a 19 year old female and my boyfriend is 21. We have been together for four year in September.. Everyone around us is getting engaged and we have been together longer than anyone of them. I dont know if im jealous or worried. I have said to him I want to be engaged, he said no. It makes me feel like he doesnt love me that much to marry me. He says he wants to marry me but wants to wait. I want a big wedding, huge dress ect.. I understand to wait for the wedding, but why cant we be engaged? He says he wants to be able to buy me a huge ring and make sure its beautiful, but I dont want/need that right now, just a small right so show hes mine.. Because of this I have decided to go away to school in the fall. Maybe to test to see if he is my "one" or just to clear my head and enjoy being 19.. Im not sure. What are your intakes of this? Am i right to feel "not loved" or do you all agree with him? (link)
|
He's right.
Marriage is about two people. You're fantasizing about an amazing wedding, he's thinking about everything after that.
The way you feel is ridiculous. It's short sighted and self centered.
Guys have egos too. Pride and things we want. When your boyfriend says he wants to buy the ring, he's serious. When he says now isn't the time, he's serious there too. Marriage isn't about keeping up with friends or not being left out or fancy dresses. Marriage is about the two of you turning two lives into one together.
You need to grow up a little bit. You're young. You both have a lot of growing and changing to do. Don't add the burdens of commitment fights. Because while you're feeling unloved because you're not getting your pretty wedding, he's feeling hurt and offended that you'd question the way he feels about you to get your way when you should be having an honest talk with him about it.
That's how adults handle relationships.
Rhona also makes a good point. It's easier to combine two lives when there are two actual lives to combine. You're both fledgling adults right now. He's just coming into and defining his own manhood, give him some time to grow up and figure himself out before you start telling him what he's supposed to want and when.
Telling someone who's not sure what direction they want their life to take what direction you think they should want to take is a surefire way to drive them away from you post haste.
|
|
Rating: 4
| |
i never once told him he HAD to do anything? I mentioned it to him ONCE.. He keeps bringing it up and I said "its fine, we'll wait marcus" You're putting words in the mouth of someone whom you never meant and putting words into something that is written right in front of you? We did have an "honest" talk, I don't see where I put "We were yelling at each other, blah blah blah".. thanks though
|
|