Gender: Male
Occupation: Homeland Security
Age: 38
Member Since: July 7, 2010
Answers: 16
Last Update: April 28, 2011
Visitors: 3008
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22/f
Okay, due to my past, my heart has literally turned black. I don't trust guys and it find it very hard to even maintain a conversation with them. Like they'll ask to meet with me (because honestly the guys that try to talk to me are from like Mocospace and chatlines or whatever and yes I know they are bad places or whatever), but then I shut down and never talk to them again.
I will not lie, I am a BBW (or in layman terms, "Obese") and on the account of my low-self esteem, I have been talken to and used for sex numerous times, to the point where I don't even want to have sex anymore. I get turned off by the idea of having sex with a man and kinda would rather want to do it with a female... that's how severe it has been.
Why is it that I shut down when it comes to guys now? I tell them the truth about myself as far as my looks are concerned but I still stop talking to them....
There is another guy that I have known for a year who adores me, and I admit that I have slept with him before and then I shut down on him to. After it happened I stopped talking to him. Then he found me again and is trying so hard for me to date him, but to be honest, I am not really attracted to him and he is a little cocky for me...
I don't know what to do. I am at a complete loss. What can I do? Where can I meet guys? I am in college but attend a large college so talking to guys is scary especially if your are new to campus.
I know have a lot of good qualities about me... but I think guys can't get past my exterior... so Idk... any advice will be greatly appreciated...
How can I stop shutting down on guys and where can I meet decent guys that will likely accept me for me? (link)
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I think NinjaNeer's answer is very close to perfect. I just want to stress a point. You can not love someone if you have no respect for yourself first. Loving who you are first, gives you the strength you need to give of yourself to another in a relationship. You said it yourself, "I know I have a lot of good qualities about me." Go and RUN with that. Find yourself, love yourself, and as Ninja said...don't look. Because as you are making yourself happy....others WILL notice and there is nothing more sexy than a happy self confident woman.
You take good care of yourself. --Todd
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