Hello my names Lili. I am 20. I am college student. I honestly love people. I am a communications major. I am the go to girl for advice among my friends. You need help ask me and I will do my best to give you advice. We all need advice every once in a while. My goal is that the advice I give you will help you with whatever problem you have. I cant guarantee a perfect answer. But I can guarantee that I will try to help you.
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 20
Member Since: June 12, 2010
Answers: 65
Last Update: September 16, 2012
Visitors: 3921
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I am 17/Female. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 11 months, and he is a wonderful guy. He treats me very well and obviously since we have been together for so long we are very comfortable being ourselves around each other. I feel that these are two very important qualities in a relationship, and that is why I have stayed with him for so long.
The problem is that I still have very strong feelings for my ex boyfriend. This ex boyfriend and I haven't spoken in a long time, but he was my first kiss and my first boyfriend. I have had long-lasting, deep, emotional/romantic feelings for my ex that I simply don't have for my current boyfriend. This of course makes me feel incredibly guilty, because my boyfriend doesn't do anything wrong and doesn't deserve that. And of course I can't exactly admit that I have feelings for someone else to my current boyfriend; I really don't want to hurt him. I have no idea what the solution is to this problem. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get over my ex. I have tried to move on by dating other guys, and obviously it's not working.
My question is, what should I do about the whole situation with my current boyfriend? I feel awful breaking up with him because I really do value our relationship deep down. I care about him a lot, and I constantly worry about what things will be like if I were to break up with him. I'm terrified to do so.
Also, what should I do about my ex boyfriend? I feel as though it is impossible for me to WILLINGLY give him up because for the majority of the past four years, he has been my entire life. I know that I need to get over him and I know that I need to talk to him to get the closure I need, but the problem is that I don't want to. (link)
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All girls always going to harbor feelings for their first love. He was your first everything. But obviously something went wrong with your ex. There is a reason why you two broke up in the first place. My first ex was in middle school. when we got to highschool, we both realize that we both grew up. We wanted different things in life. We both were just different. And we brought out the worst in each other. It took me a long time to get over him because I known him and liked him for a very long time. Those feelings dont dissapear like that. They will eventually. But there always be a tiny little spark left behind as a reminder. So if you still have feelings for you ex while you are with your current bf, you need to take some time and think about it. It's not fair to your current bf. You need to figure out what to do. You need to think if those feelings you have for your ex are worth rekindling. You need to figure out if your ex is worth trying again. You need to figure out who you really want to be with... your ex or your current bf. And most importantly, you need to know if your ex feels the same. It is a sticky situation. You cant string your current bf along for the ride. Your current bf, sounds like a real keeper. he sounds like a really good boyfriend. And if you are still deep down still having these feelings then he is not the right guy.... I'm not saying the ex is. But it is something you are going to have to question. So the best advice I can give you is to think things through and to listen to your heart. Every thing will eventually work out, hopefully. Good luck. And I hope my advice helped. P.S. I know you dont want to hurt your current bf. But when it comes down to it, you do need to be honest with him and your feelings.... I know it hard and it's going to hurt him. But honesty is a good policy to have in a relationship. :)
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