Gender: Male
Location: North Carolina
Occupation: Animator
Age: 22
Member Since: June 8, 2010
Answers: 20
Last Update: June 10, 2010
Visitors: 1913
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17/f
(I've known this guy since I was 7) he is now 21.
When I was like 15 almost 16, him & I became best friends, and eventually had sexual relations (yes i know he's older & etc. I am very mature for my age because of everything I've been through, so dont judge me or give me sh** for it please, because you'll just be a broken record that I wont really listen to--sorry.)
Any ways, he has like no one there for him anymore except for me, and he's on drugs really bad; which I'm used to dealing with because my step dad used to be on them really bad.
(lets name him John)
John and I tell each other everything and anything, our whole friendship is based on honesty and just being real, even if the truth can hurt.
& John never really had any one there for him, like he has his grandparents but he cant really talk to them, and all his friends are moving away; so all he really has is me.
I want him to know that I don't like that he does drugs (except for weed, he knows that I dont care if he smokes weed), like he kindve already knows a little bit, but I want him to know I care for him and love him I don't want him to get hurt or end up killed over the drugs hes doing now.
He basically already knows I'm always here for him no matter, but how I do I tell him I care for him so much and tell him I dont like the drugs without pushing him away?
& I know I should just stay away from him because he's drugs, but deep down he is a really good and nice person, hes just made a lot of very bad decisions and ended up with the wrong crowd basically; & when it comes down to it I love him, even if he is all wrong & f*cked up, but we all are in some way, & you can't help who you love..
(keep in mind me & him have never dated, we're basically best freinds with benefits.)
& I apologize if this comes off as mean, I'm really not trying to be, I'm just stressed out from it all & I'm tired of people telling me how bad of a guy he is & stuff like that..
So I guess here's my question how do I tell him how I feel without pushing him away?
& sorry this is so confusing (link)
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A person can be a good person but still be addicted to bad things. Well, I'm guessing you're really hesitant because like you hearing everyone saying that you should stay away from him (or something along those lines), he hears people tell him to quit drugs, so you don't want him to shut you out.
It would be best if you two had some alone time, and when that happens, that's when you tell him. Don't really beat around the bush, but also don't outright say "I want you to quit drugs." You have to ease into it.
But you'll also have to understand that drugs in general will change a person. A person's personality is in the brain, and drugs and alcohol messes with the chemicals in the brain, so there's still a chance that he may get upset when you do talk to him. After all, drugs make him feel good, right? Why would he want to quit something that makes life bearable? And people's been telling him to quit before (I'm sure of it).
I'm really glad that you're there for him, however, you have to be careful not to let his habits drain you emotionally, because that could bring you to begin abusing substances as well.
You should really push for him to not take any kinds of drug at all. Even weed. Weed IS still illegal, and if he's caught with that, nothing good can come from it. He's still taking in smoke into his lungs, which is also unhealthy.
I wish you well and I hope everything works out for you.
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