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My family situation is pretty crazy and embarrassing to talk about, and I'm still having trouble coming to terms with it. My parents divorced 3 years ago. Basically, what happened was that my dad said he was going a business trip, and then never came back.

Since he disappeared he left a lot of loose ends. He has never let me talk with him about what happened in an honest and open way (he didn't bother seeing or calling me until one year after he left), the divorce process lasted a year and was really ugly, he left my mum to pay the bills and take care of me, he remarried without telling me, bought his new family a house and settled down on the other side of the atlantic with them etc.

Now he's saying he wants to talk to me and reestablish a relationship, by sending emails full of either sentimental bs, or unreasonable demands, or long explanations of how everything wrong in his life is my mum's fault. He finds it perplexing that I don't respect him or listen to him at all. He expects me to be perfectly fine about the fact that he never showed any interest in my life before, left me to fend for myself, and that he was never honest with me about anything before either. A part of me would like to just ignore the fact he exists for the rest of my life because he is such an idiotic, annoying and selfish b*****d, but he is my dad and I can't ignore that fact, so another part of me wants to give him another chance. At the moment I'm ignoring his messages by not talking to him. I blocked his email addresses for a few months too. I just didnt know what to think about him so I gave up thinking about him for a while until now.

What can I do now? I tried many time in the past to reestablish communication with him and trust him, but all that happened was that he ignored my attempts and pretended like there was nothing to talk about and that I was a yabbering whiny little kid, which really hurt me. Now he's trying, and I'm tempted to do to him what he did to me. He's so useless. Obviously if he wanted to make things right he'd do more than send emails.

Sorry this is such a long-winded and nonsensical question but I just need somewhere to vent my emotional steam. And btw I have seen a counsellor in the past to sort out my thoughts but it really didn't help... at all. Thanks!

Your dad has done alot of things that a parent shouldnt do to a child. I completely understand why you would have issues with him and I dont blame you. I also commend you very much for realizing that he is your dad and wanting to give him a chance.
Try to remember that your dad is human. Humans make mistakes. All the time. Also, despite the fact that he went about it in a totally wrong way, your dad wants to be happy too. And it seems like maybe he wasnt happy with your mom and theres no one to blame for that. Especially not you. Its his actions that were negative, not him.
It may take a while but eventually you will be able to forgive him. Just try to everything out in the open with hi. If you hold something in it could turn into resentment so it is just better to get it out now. If he didnt care about you, he could have just never contacting you again and wrote you off. But he didnt and that means something. So try to remember that. I hope you are able to work everything out with him and rebuild your relationship. Good luck.

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