Member Since: March 7, 2010
Answers: 69
Last Update: April 17, 2010
Visitors: 4650
|
| |
Dear male perspective,
I have a steadily increasing crush on a boy in my class. He's adorable to say the least, a genius, and he is friendly enough to me to make me think that I have a chance. The problem is that when I see him I become really hesitant. Sometimes I slur my words or just say completely irrelevant things. Despite all of this I think he is completely oblivious to my feelings. I walk by him every morning when he is with his friends but I get nervous so that I never say hello. During class he'll ask me really meaningless questions that he could either figure out himself or not ask at all. My theory is that he's trying to get closer to me. But this isn't the type of boy that would simply ask for a date. I doubt he's ever had a girlfriend and because I'm a grade level more than him he might think that I would never be interested. But I'm so interested! How can I help him realize this without actually saying it or asking him out on a date? I don't want to come off too strong especially since we don't know eachother very well at all. Thank you :). (link)
|
It sounds like both of you are in the same place: interested but a bit shy and cautious, worried about making a mistake or looking foolish.
This is a good thing and totally natural. For one thing it means that both of you care about the other person's feelings, which is a very good thing.
If he has never had a girlfriend, then you can be pretty sure he is clueless as to what to say or do, most boys are at this point, even grown men are.
As to getting nervous, you will, nothing you can do to stop that. but you can recognize it as a good thing, not a scarey thing. all it really means is that you are alive and having an adrenaline rush, smile.
I suggest the best approach is try and approach him in normal, trivival conversation. Say hello when you see him (i know, scarey), i guarantee he will not bite. most likely he will be a bit stuttery himself, so no worries. it sounds like you have some things in common about school, use that as a topic of conversation. what did he think of yesterday's class, assignment, or test? Then let the conversation flow where it will naturally. at some point in the conversation there will be an opportunity for one of you to say "do you want to meet at lunch, or after school or ..., and talk about that?" It is n't a date per se, but it will give you more time alone to talk and get more comfortable. Once that happens, the two fo you will most likely figure out where you want things to lead. I know it sounds corny, but focus on the conversation, not that you are all jittery and worried about making a mistake or sounding stupid. Both of you will at some point, and that can actually bring out a joint laugh that breaks the ice.
godd luck!
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Ah thank you thank you. Your words are motivating and reassuring :D!
|
|