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I'm a curious nut. And it's this curiosity of mine which has led me here. Specifically, it's my curiosity concerning people in general which has led me to this very site. We all encounter "life experiences" which, at times may seem like too much for one person to handle. So we turn to others for help... and that's where I come in. Whether you're looking for a helpful tidbit or you simply just want to be heard, I'm here. Take care everyone!
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Gender: Male
Location: Currently in San Francisco, CA
Occupation: Graduate
Age: 28
Member Since: January 4, 2010
Answers: 14
Last Update: January 7, 2012
Visitors: 2357
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hey.. so im 16f and wanting some advice on a guy and sex.. so ive known this guy, lets call him john, for a while and we've liked eachother on and off,we havnt talked alot he moved and cuz i started talking to one of his friends which i still am. but me and john want to hangout soon and first im debating on wether i should or not.. me and him always had the emotional aspect of a relationship but we never experienced the physical with eachother. so i know if we hangout we're going to get physical, and i want to have sex with this guy but i cant, im a virgin and i dont want to be that easy and other reasons, so how do i know when were about to have sex..? like are there specific things that he will do that shows like hes ready to have sex. and when we are about to, how can i stop that from happening without like crushing him and killing the moment? lol. other than that i want to get physical with him, just NOT regular sex.
Hey there,
First off, I should start out by saying that sex is definitely a big thing. Regardless of how common it's becoming, ultimately it's a big thing which could lead to a lot of changes in both your life and his.
I understand that you both have an emotional connection which is pretty much expected considering how you've both liked each other on and off. However, remember the only way things can go "physical" is IF you ALLOW them to. You seem like a pretty strong person (I mean you're pretty strong already just by asking for advice :)), so if YOU really DON'T want to have sex then I'm sure you'll be able to resist having it. So in that case, there shouldn't be any problems hanging out with him as a friend.
However if you really feel like you can't resist having sex, then there are a few ways that you can still hangout and NOT have sex. First off though, you asked how would you know if you two are about to have sex? Trust me YOU'LL KNOW :). Usually, when it's about to happen, it can start off with some intense make out session. At the same time things can also start off pretty tense, with both of you wanting to just go completely crazy on each other but not knowing how to do it exactly. Either way, it usually starts off with a vibe that both of you will definitely be able to feel.
Next you ask, are there specific things that he'll do to show that he's ready to have sex? Well, every person is unique so I can't exactly speak for him personally. However, guys (especially young guys) PHYSICALLY are ALWAYS ready to have sex. However, MENTALLY he may not be that ready. It depends on a lot of things like experience, his morals, what he believes in, etc. Generally, it's a good thing for both of you to actually talk about it, describing whether or not both of you are REALLY READY to take this next step. Asking him is basically the closest way that you'll ever know if he's really ready.
Next you ask if there are things you can do to keep it from happening? Whenever you hang out with him, try to go someplace where lots of people are involved. For example, go out to eat some place public, watch a movie, chill with some friends at a local hangout, etc. Basically do things which won't put you two in a situation where something sexual could happen. Avoid situations where you know you two could do something sexual. By doing that, I'm sure you two would be able to avoid having sex and yet still would be able to get to know each other more and possibly develop a stronger relationship in the long run.
Now if he keeps pushing you to have sex, and you really don't want to, just remember... someone who really cares for you usually would NOT force you to do something you didn't want to do. You might want to rethink your whole relationship if he's actually trying to push you into having sex. Don't worry about crushing him because if he really cares about you, he'll be ok with your decision in the long run.
I really hope things work out for you!
Take care of yourself,
:)
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(Rating: 5)
that was the best advice, i asked multiple people, and just got normal answers, no one took the time to break down every question that i asked. thank you a bunchh.
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