Member Since: December 22, 2009
Answers: 4
Last Update: March 24, 2010
Visitors: 965
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18/f
i found out 2 summer ago that my girlfriend was raped when she was 6..this was before we got together, but we had been best friends for a while already..anyway, i cried when i found out, but she never explained to me what really happened..she told me she had gotten over it already though..
the thing is, sometimes i wonder if the problems she has now are a result of her being raped when she was younger. for example, she does not have a really good relationship with her parents and when we talk about serious things, she tells me she always has a hard time sleeping [even when she was younger]..and that she thinks about little things that bother her, which shouldn't really bother her..she also has small anxiety attacks and has a hard time breathing when people yell or get mad [she has asthma too].
i never mentioned the rape situation to her ever after she told me though..i don't know what to do though.. i always ask her why she thinks she's like that..but she always says "i don't know..there's just something really wrong with me"...and i just want to get to the root of the problem so i can help her..i just feel so helpless all the time whenever she talks to me about her problems...
i'm sorry this is so long, but do you think it's possible that her getting raped could be the cause? or do you think it's something else?
thank you soo much. (link)
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There could also be other factors that cause her to act like that too, but based on what you've stated it sounds like it could be rape. I'm a 17/f and I have a girlfriend who has similar problem to your girlfriend, but some of her behaviors are also caused by her genes, along with other environmental factors. I think that rape could be a cause of her behavior because she was still young, even adults that are raped can't cope with it.. but I'm not saying that it's 100% rape. You could ask her health records.. like.. ask if she remembers when she started having asthmas, or when those attacks started. But Idk if you should just come out and ask those questions, maybe state your place with her first, .. for example say, you know i'm your girlfriend, i love you and i get worried about you. && Ask her if she wants to talk about it or not and if she does then she's really over it and if she's not then you'll just have to wait until she's ready. Don't forget that it's not just about the matter of how close you two are or that you are her girlfriend.. but whether or not she's really ready to talk about it.
If you're really interested then you could google "Child cognitive development" or anywhere else you think will help you. I took psychology last year so I still remember a bit =] Hope that helps, take care.
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Rating: 5
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omgosh thanks so much! this really helps :]
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