Q: Two weeks before starting our first year of college (at the same university), my boyfriend broke up with me when I brought up how we were leaving so soon and things seemed up in the air with us. I was very much in love with him; he was my first, we dated for a little over a year, we were always there for each other, and none of our friends ever saw the breakup coming. We hang out in the same group of friends, so by the time the news got around most people were already at school.
I visited my best friend that following weekend to get my mind off of it, but at the end of the night I ended up being left by myself in this guy's apartment where he raped me. I didn't tell her (I really didn't want to make her feel like a bad friend, she was drunk and thought I was already gone), and all my other friends were in college already so I didn't want to bother them with my problems, and my parents would freak out and probably make me stay at home, and plus it can't get any more sad; it was the day before my 18th birthday. I'm the kind of person who hates being felt sorry for, and I would rather put it at the back of my mind.
Anyway, back to my ex: we planned on remaining good friends, but after arriving here, we starting ignoring each other, he would do anything to avoid me, and vice versa. I avoided him because I didn't know how to deal with my situation, and I cared about him so I didn't want that hanging over his head too, I would rather him be able to have fun his first year of college without worrying about his ex and her sob story. I have no idea why he is ignoring me, but as winter break is approaching, our group of friends is set on hanging out, and I'm nervous about seeing him; when our mutual friends came up last month to visit he avoided seeing me and we had to take turns taking them out (mature, I know). If we talk, should I explain to him what happened? Would he not care? We're in a band together too so we're basically forced to interact, and I feel like what happened to me was relevant to the way things ended between us. But I know that's not something a guy wants to hear about an ex, which is why I didn't say anything in the first place. Help!
