About Darby
My name is Darby. I'm seventeen years old. Feel free to e-mail or message me with any question. My e-mail is yo.darbyjay@live.com I will answer anything to the best of my ability. I decided to join this site because I love giving advice and have been told that I'm good at it. I get on every day. Usually a few times. You can also add me on AIM: OiScumPunk@aim.com.
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E-mail: yo.darbyjay@live.com
Gender: Female
Age: 17
MSN: yo.darbyjay@live.com
Member Since: April 26, 2009
Answers: 614
Last Update: December 23, 2009
Visitors: 32113
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hey its the girl who asked about her ex and getting back together and summer vacation blahblah....my names hannah and i'm 17. just so i don't have to keep saying that lol.
so anyway he texted me yesterday morning saying that he was bored and i was the only one who texted back during class. so anyway we texted for awhile about some random stuff then we ended up on the phone somehow late at night because i texted him saying that something was on my mind so he called me. he told me that he gets that feeling in the pit of his stomach and he stil has feelings for me. buttttt he says he doesn't want to commit. we talked some more and he says that he doesn't believe that you can love someone forever...he said that you can love someone for a amount of time but he says that its really rare to actually love someone for the rest of your life and to be truly happy. he also said that he doesn't believe in love with teenagers. i don't want him to believe that though...because i honestly think we're both in love...even if he is lazy sometimes and doesn't want to hang out..idc i'm mature and i'm in love and i don't want to give him up...the thing is so i talked to my mom and she said that alot of it has to do with the way your parents are. his parents are always fighting and got divorced when his dad was in iraq....i want to convince him that love comes at any age and that people actually can be in love for the rest of their lives. he also told me that if we hung out by like a pool or something or lots of things he's going to want me back (he says he loves me when we're hanging out together but kinda blocks it out when we're not)....soo he's calling me after school to talk about his parents because i told him i still wanna be there for him as a friend but yeah how can i prove to him all of this about love? or at least tell him...any advice? please answer asap because he's calling after school today.
thank you soo much.
Hey, hope I'm not too late. I just got off work (:
Okay, so I think I remember saying that he probably feels the way that he does about love because of his parents. So I agree with your mom 100%. When you talk to him today about his parents, the conversation will most likely lead into his beliefs in love (or disbeliefs).
When the conversation gets on that topic, you should point out people in your life that have been married for a very long time and are very happy together. For example, my great grandparents were married for 62 years and never fell out of love. Also, my grandparents have been married for over 40 years and are still as happy as they were when they first fell in love.
It is possible for love to last forever, but there's no real way that you can force someone to believe in it. It's sort of like trying to force someone to believe in a certain religion. You can point out all the examples of things that 'god' had done for you, but it doesn't mean the person is going to believe in the religion now.
All you can do is give some examples of people in your life that have been in love and happy for a long time. Also, don't be afraid to really tell him how you feel about it. Maybe if you verbalise what you're feeling, he'll understand what you're definition of 'love' is and he'll realise that he loves you, too. (All the time, not just when you're hanging out)
Good luck,
Darby(:
EDIT::: Love is something different to every person. Think of the reasons why you feel like you can't be without him. Think of how you'd feel without him.
Love to me is when you care about someone so much that they can do anything to you and it doesn't change how you feel about them at all. When I love someone, I feel like the person is my best friend and I can't imagine being without them. If I do try to imagine them not being in my life, I feel completely empty like everything has been torn away from my insides. It's a feeling that lasts, too. If you love someone, you're not going to forget them after you've been broken up for a couple months. You'll be completely miserable until you get the person back in your life.
If you love someone, you trust them with everything you have. You're never embarrassed around them and you feel like you could say or do anything without them being weirded out or making fun of you.
You want to spend a lot of time with the person and you miss them before they've even left. You get excited when you see a text with their name on it, even after you've known each other or have been dating for a long time.
And most of all, love to me is when you can sit in a room with the person for an entire day or night and do completely opposite things (one person sleeping and the other across the room drawing; etc..) and feel completely calm and at peace just because the other person is near you and you care so much about them that their very presence takes away any bad feelings you could have about things happening in your life.
Darby(:
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thanks...you're not too late...he's calling later around 7:30...last night when we talked though i did give him examples of people that i know that have been in love since they were 17 and 18 and are happy together but he said its rare :/....honestly...what is the definition of love? :/ like i know i feel it...its so strong, but how do you explain it? like i don't want to tell him that you just know because that isn't really going to solve anything.
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