Hi there.. My name is Kirsten.. I'm 21, I live in a small country town in South Australia, Australia. I love life, I love giving advice to anyone who needs it. I have a boyfriend of 5 years and were very much in lurrve ;) Feel free to ask me anything guys and gals.. thats what i'm here for. If I don't know the answer to your questions i'll try my best to give you what I know.. Have fun, live life to the fullest and ask away... ;) xoxo
Gender: Female
Location: South Australia
Occupation: Medical Receptionist!
Age: 21
Member Since: June 7, 2006
Answers: 364
Last Update: December 6, 2010
Visitors: 33929
Main Categories:
Illnesses
Friendship
General Sex Questions
View All
|
| |
|
Im going to have to give you guys a bit of history so that you can better understand the situation. I have this friend. A best friend. Weve been friends since 8th grade, and now were seniors about to graduate and weve gone through a lot. we were literally polar opposites on the surface but intellectually we matched perfect. The thing is, I was always the preppy, kinda girlie one, and she was the dark, gothic one. never really cared about her looks. she even called herself manly. In 8th grade that was our style. Weve both changed a great amount since then. I used to be very shy, now I am very outgoing. I am still girlie, but I play soccer and enjoy Spanish music and am very positive and always happy. She changed as well. Her style became girlie, and she did away with all her darkness. But the problem is her changing is influenced by me. which would be fine, except shes adopting not only the style of music and clothes that I like, but also my personality. I don't understand. She sees me do or wear something, and she goes and does the same thing. I cant really say anything i mean it seems very petty but it's becoming more than a superficial thing. She is copying my mannerisms and my reactions, all my tastes and dislikes. She is becoming me. We go to different schools, but when I see people from her school they describe her doing and saying things that sound exactly like me. She doesn't act that way towards me though. And it's really frustrating because I cant say anything, shes going to deny it and say that that's what she would have done regardless. which i know is not true. Literally shes doing EVERYTHING that I am. it's insane. And now she is saying she wants some space between us so she can get her priorities in line, telling me she doesnt really want to talk to anyone for a while, but i see her doing stuff and hanging with other people, dressing and acting like me. I'm going crazy over this what should I do? how can I accept this? (link)
|
Hi there..
Seems to me that she's always envied you. She's always loved how you act and dress and speak ect..
She's probably always wanted to be more like you because 1) she's jealous 2) she's always felt like your better then her 3) wished she could be more like you but is embarrassed of changing her ways in front of you.
Because she's at a different school now, she's got the chance to be you without you being around, therefore she has the 'limelight' with out you steeling it away.
With these other people she doesn't have to feel like she wants to be like you, she probably feels that these people want to be like her and she enjoys it.
Just talk to her and let her know that its ok to dress and act more confident, however, copying everything you do is a bit out of control. Communication is the best way to resolve anything. Even if you write her a letter so she understands how you feel.
Hope I helped.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
thanks =) i try sometimes. its just really hard to tell her the truth because i love her you know shes my best friend...i dont want to hurt her...
|
|