Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 89062
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I was raised by my moms parents. Mom had nothing really to do with me growing up. If she came it was only to borrow money or to eat. I tried just being nice to her but all she did was take. Borrow clothes without bringing them back. Borrow my child suport money and didnt pay back and so on. I'm now a happily married mother of 5 great kids. When mom was watching my daughter one weekend I called her to bring her back. She refused and instead brought my daughter and the cops with her to my inlaws house (where i was at). She fussed at me cause i had a job babysitting a neighbors 2 kids. There was no harm in it whatsoever. My daughter was right with me every day. She just didnt like it so started fussing at me and my hubby so bad. A cop brought me to the side that day and told me that if we dont stop arguing my daughter would be taken away from me. Also that I should quit my job so, I did.Since then I've had more kids and she plays favor to my oldest and now baby girls. She will not keep anybody but them. She will say tell... I'll make up there birthday. But she dont even come to there parties knowing when it is and all. My kids dont like her except at christmas she bribes them to be around her. other than that they get bored with her. I dont want me or the kids to be around her because of her attitude and all. She threatened that if I didnt let her see the kids she would take me to court. Far as I know there is no law stating i have to let her see them. I want her to leave us alone. Me and my kids are happy and well taken care of.Even the rest of my family agrees but can't get her to stop. My question is how do i keep her from seeing us with out getting the law involved? Thanks in advance (link)
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You do NOT have to let your mother see any of your kids. You are their mother, their legal guardian. Could she take you to court, not without hiring a lawyer. Does she have any money? She'd have to have a good reason why she should be allowed to see them, and you would have as many good reasons why she should not. If she did go that route and hired a lawyer, probably the least she would get is supervised visits. Because her refusing to bring one of the kids home when she was supposed to, then threatening you, that would show the court that she does not have the kids best interest at heart. She sounds like a jerk and carries some guilt around for not being a good mom to you. Maybe she is trying to change and is trying to make up for it to your kids, but too bad, you don't have to let her make amends, and it sounds more like she doesn't really care about the kids.
How can you keep her from calling the cops when and even lying to them to get them to harras you and even try to get you arrested. Here is how.
Always keep your cool. Especially if she does get the cops involved.
Remind her every chance you get what a lousy mom she was, even in front of your kids, so maybe she will become to embarassed to show her face.
Don't use the kids as pawns between you and her. And don't let your guard down during the holidays just to be nice, or just so the kids can get extra gifts from her. Those gifts come with too high a price to pay. If you don't like a person, do not accept things from them, no matter how much you might want it. Everything comes with strings attached. And it is not a good lesson to teach your kids. When they get older, or as each of them gets old enough, you can tell them why your mother is not welcome in all your lives.
Always point out bad behavior to your kids so that they will learn what it is, and learn not to do it, or copy it, and tell them why.
Good luck to you.
Stay strong.
- Michele
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much. My mom does have a lawyer on hand for her every need. She loves calling the cops so much at times they don't respond to her calls.
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