Hmm.. I decided to give a bit more detail. I live in the usa, and enjoy having fun. Swimming, dancing, shopping, working.. It's all good fun.. My mother says I have probablems, because I want to save the world.. Now I know, I can't.. But I do know us people who at least put some effort into help someone, makes some what a difference. It may not seem like it, but if you've seen Police Academy, with the apple that was thrown out the window, and started the riot!! Well then, no one knows how these things get started!
WE ARE ALL SUPER HEROS IN OUR OWN WAY.
Don't forget that! It's what we all are, and can be!
E-mail: psycologist2be@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Some Where in this Hell Hole
Occupation: Work for the News Paper.
MSN: psycologist2be@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 6, 2009
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Okay. 21/f, he's 24/m, we've been together for, like, 4 years.
What's changed recently is that I'm in the throes of a massive pain problem. No doctor has found a correct diagnosis, and the painkillers I've been taking for it have recently stopped keeping the pain at bay.
A little background on me: I'm an extremely independent person, unused to leaning on anyone, let alone having anyone to lean on. This guy used to be like, the epitome of a bad boyfriend, and now all of a sudden, he's kinda perfect. I know I haven't adjusted to the change in him yet.
Problem: Every time I see him, having opened up to him more at this point, I feel the desire to just hug him and cry because I hurt so much. It happened ONCE that I actually did that, and I don't remember any of it. I kinda broke down, and I think it scared me a lot. I'm aware of this, and I'm aware that it won't happen every time I see him, but it's making me reluctant to hang out with him. Every time we're supposed to see each other, I cancel, and I hate myself for it. What's worse is that I'll cancel with him and go hang out with someone else. I know I can't isolate myself, so I try to surround myself with people. But I can keep up my front around people I'm not close with. I can't around him.
Logically, I know I should just suck it up and talk to him about this, but I don't feel like I can, and if I do, I don't know what'll happen to us. I feel like if I'm that open with him, he'll just run away. 'Cause really...would you want a depressed girl around after you just came out of depression yourself?
I've been his rock for, like, a year. I don't know how to switch roles like that.
Any advice? All suggestions are welcome here. (link)
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He's went from bad boyfriend to perfect boyfriend for you, you were his rock. If this is the relationship you will end up with in the end, it's his turn to be your rock. You can't just be his rock and not have a rock. It doesn't work that way, this man sounds like he loves you.. I'd talk to him about it, don't worry about him running away from you.. He loves you and you know this deep down, and know he won't leave you. Just try to explain to him how you feel, maybe you two can discuss how to handle all of this together.
And for gods sakes stop blowing him off, thats what will push him away the most, cause he doesn't realize why you're doing it.. He has no idea why you would throw away time you could be spending with him to go spend with someone else.
You're probable scarying him with the way you're acting, he probable feels like he's losing you..
Give him a chance to try and help you, don't just assum he's going to disappear on you. He's been around this long, he's going to stay.
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