Gender: Female
Location: United States
Age: 14
Member Since: August 16, 2009
Answers: 32
Last Update: October 3, 2009
Visitors: 2663
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I have a huge problem that makes me feel very depressed. Everytime I hook up (as in make out) with a boy, I become attached. I've only hooked up with a few boys and every one of them has been a boy I hadn't met before that night. So when I hook up with them I always have an expectation of something happening after (which I know isn't realistic, but I can't help it) and when it doesn't (which it never does) I feel really upset and lonely. So I say to myself, "okay I'm the type of girl who needs a committed boy, not just a random hook-up, so I'll never hook up with a random boy again". But then soon I find myself thinking OMG I HAVEN'T HOOKED UP WITH ANYONE IN A WHILE WHATS WRONG WITH ME I NEED TO GET WITH SOMEONE. and then i'll hook up with another random boy when given the opportunity, and then once again when they don't talk to me or we don't hang out again after (which we never do), i get upset/lonely again. It's like an endless cycle. My first hook-up was 4 months ago, and before that, I NEVER felt like I needed a boy. Like obviously I wanted one because i had never had a boyfriend or even a kiss, but then ever since my first hook-up I haven't felt independant like I used too. Now i feel like I'm always gunna need a boy to make me feel better and not lonely (even though I never actually have one) because once I started hooking up with boys, there was no turning back cause now I'm always dependant. I always told myself I would NEVER become dependant on a boy but i find myself becoming attached to every guy I hook up with. I just wish I could enjoy the moment while I'm hooking up with someone and live in that moment only and just do it for fun at that time,and then when it's over not care if the boy ever talks to me again. But it's not like that at all unfortunately. What can I do to stop this, it's really hurting me :( and please don't say stop hooking up with boys, because if I don't hook up with a boy in more than a month i feel extremely deprived and bored and lonely. and don't say find a boy that you can actually build a relationship with, because i've been trying that for 4 months and it hasn't worked so there is no one i can hook up with and continue hanging out with/talking too after. thanks. (link)
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Obviously the best thing for you to do would be to stop hooking up with guys but you have already tried that and you couldnt. You should look for someone that you like before you hook-up with them and work towards it that way. If you want just keep hooking-up with other guys before you find a guy that you want to be in a relationship with.
Hope that was helpful.
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