About Darby
My name is Darby. I'm seventeen years old. Feel free to e-mail or message me with any question. My e-mail is yo.darbyjay@live.com I will answer anything to the best of my ability. I decided to join this site because I love giving advice and have been told that I'm good at it. I get on every day. Usually a few times. You can also add me on AIM: OiScumPunk@aim.com.
XX
Ask Me For Advice
View Feedback
Make Favorite Columnist
E-mail: yo.darbyjay@live.com
Gender: Female
Age: 17
MSN: yo.darbyjay@live.com
Member Since: April 26, 2009
Answers: 614
Last Update: December 23, 2009
Visitors: 32139
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
Random Weirdos
View All
Advicenators.com
|
|
|
Im sorry for making this long but i would REALLY REALLY appreciate your help
Ok well im 17 and my girlfriend was 15. She broke up with me because she's to scared to lose me. She said when were together she feels like nothing can go wrong. But we don't get to see eachother as much as we want to and she starts missing me. She thinks alot and it always ends up ending what we have (its happened before). I love her but she says she wont be able to handle it when i leave for college. Which is only a couple of miles away, but we wont be seeing eachother at school. I tried to convince her that everything would be alright but she wont trust me. She said she wants to be friends so nothing will go wrong and she wont have to worry.
We see things very differently. She wants to be close friends and i dont. I see it as im looking at someone who i care about more then a friend but cant have. And she sees it as someone that she had a good relationship with.
I dont know what we are or what we are going to be. But i want us to be together, i want her to trust me. But i dont think thats going to happen. I dont know if this would change anything but she said that she's unhappy that i dont talk to her family alot.
My question is what do you think about this? What do you recommend that i do? And how is she feeling?
We broke up a couple of days ago and i think it was on the 3rd day that i agreed to being friends. Which i usually do after we break up. There's alot more to this question, ive been writing to vent. And i realized that she really doesnt love me. When we were together i was happy but it took us breaking up and me having the time to think about our relationship to see that.
Some of the reasons
. She would do stuff that would bother me even though they would bother her if i did them (such as talking to her ex which she's used as a excuse to breaking up with me)
. Push me to changing things about myself (being more talkative to other people, gaining more weight). I know it doesn't sound bad, but she said she wasn't happy with me not having those things.
I know she doesn't love me but i still miss her. Like i told you ive been writing alot. If she were to say she wanted to get back together do you think i should bring up my writings even if they might be hurtful? Or just forgive and try to forget?
Okay, I'll take this in parts.
To sum everything up, it sounds like she's just immature. Which makes sense because she's fifteen. She's probably confused and stressing herself out over nothing because she doesn't understand how relationships work. Typically, you just have a relationship with someone and don't worry about the future unless you're at an older age. It doesn't make sense to me that she would be so worried about you going to college if it's two miles away. Just because she won't see you at school? Do you spend all seven hours of the school day together? You have every class together? Probably not. You probably see each other an hour total at school.
It sounds like she's just insecure and immature. She seems to be insecure because she's so anxious and worried about something going wrong. She's so worried that you guys will end up breaking up, that she'd rather just break up with you? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
I'm not trying to sound harsh here, and I'm sure you care a lot about her, but the only reason she would be acting like this is because of a lack of experience in relationships. It's not fair that she's dragging you around and breaking up with you for doing things that she's doing, too. (talking to exes) But it just a matter of maturity.
My honest advice to you is to let her go. At least for now. She's just not mature enough. You're not that much older than her, but those are two crucial years and she'll probably grow up a lot during them.
But, you probably won't take that advice. So my answer to your last question is, you probably shouldn't show her the writing. It might be too hurtful for her, especially since you're already broken up. BUT, there's nothing wrong with writing things down and trying to explain them to her when you guys are talking. Explain to her that it's not fair that she can talk to exes and you can't. Explain to her that you going to college won't be as big of a deal as she thinks. I know tons of people that are in college that I still hang out with all the time.
Good luck,
Darby(:
[view]
(Rating: 5)
Thank you so much for your advice, i think your right about everything. Im not her first boyfriend, she's had 2 or 3 others when she was in junior high and she's done alot of changing since then. I cant see myself getting over her, at least not completely but ill try. Thanks again
| |
