|
|
|
|
|
Q: Hi. im 16. going to be a 10th grader. i dont know why, im just so depressed. there are always bad things happening around me.
when i was little i had a best freind, whos parents were freinds of my parents. we knew each other since birth, and we ended up liking each other and stuff. i dont know. but something happend to him, and he totally changed (we are thinking he was maybe raped or something.) anyways, i lost him as a friend in about ... 5th grade. that was the major begining of my depression. his parents then divorced (his dad is mental) a couple years ago and well now, his mom, who i feel like shes my aunt, is gunna die in 4 months of cancer. and my old freind (who i havent talked to in 3 years) is going to prolly go live with his mental dad who he hates..
then in 7th grade i finally got a bf. we were together almost 2 years, and then we had some issues, and he ended up being upset that we never did much, so he went behind my back texting girls (including my cousin) very inappropriate texts and everything. he broke up with me after i found out. that was DEVASTATING. it took me forever to get over that, and i still really havent. he says he still loves me and he was just fghting with himself and stuff. i dont know im not going back to him because he will hurt me again.
i now have a bf, tho i emailed him a break up (because i dont have his home number and his cell broke) and i like my best freind, who i've known for 4 years, and we are guuna go out. but no one makes me as happy as my bf who i dated for 2 years, or my old childhood friend who was like my brother and more than that.
i dont know if that relly has anything to do with my depression but i feel like theres no happiness in the world and idk why. im prolly not gunna commit suicide or anything, because it would devastate my parents, but i still dont see a reason to live, and i feel like im just here, dead, with no happiness. i try to depend on my friends to help me happy, but i cant because i feel bad that i depend on them, and i feel like i annoy them, tho they say idont. i just dont know what to do. i've lost all reason for life. i like music, but alot of it just depresses me. and it helps me sometimes, but i dont know. i also have a weird feeling of wanting to do drugs to get away from it all, or maybe because i feel like im on them, mindless or something. i know i'd get addicted too, but i dnot even know how to get any, and i'd get in major trouble, because im like... an honor student and stuff. so i dont know...
please help me. i just dont know what to do. and i dont wanna tell my mom that im depresed because she will worry about me,and also, depression runs in my dads side of the family.... so.. yeah.
just please help me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So you're only 16? That's certainly a young age for depression... but hey you, my name is elle, what's yours? I'd like to be friends and would like you to know that even though you don't know me, I am always here for you. No need to feel creeped out because of me... believe it or not, a lot of strangers have come to me for advice too(= But now, I'd like to focus on you.
So lets go over your story. I'm going to extract the problems from your story and I will give my best advice to solve each one. Just help me out a little if you have anything you'd like to add or say and I will take care of the rest, sound good? (:
First off, your close friend. It seems like he's your first best friend is he not? Well, just to let you know, if your friend has changed like you say he has, there is always room to make new best friends, and yes you are allowed to have more than one(= so why not go out and make more new friends?
Second, your "aunt" who has cancer. There are a lot of innocent people who have this sickness...and as devestating as it might be, the only thing you can really do is be there for her as a friend. She just really needs someone there to make her laugh and feel good about herself, these things are what all true friends can accomplish just by talking to her, telling her jokes, and just making her feel good about herself(= I'm sure you would make a nice friend for her.
Third, boyfriends, love, and relationships. As beautiful as love may be, it can be just as ugly. Don't let its inevitable trap catch you. You are a good person and you can be just as strong as any other. Don't EVER let a guy put you down or push you around. This will give them more power and it is you that should possess your own potential power. I know it may be hard to get over the guy you've dated for 2 years...but please believe me when I say you deserve better. Love is a hard and hurtful matter but you can get past it if you just stand for your self-confidence and on your own two feet. Believe in yourself and believe that you will find a guy who will love you for just you. Not for just the make-up you wear on the outside but for the make-up you wear on the inside too. Learn to love yourself for who you are before you let anyone else love you.
Fourth, drugs and such. There's nothing wrong about doing drugs or alcohol. Its the addiction thats the real problem about it. Don't ever take your depression out on drugs or alcohol because it will lead you to addiction...and we all know how that game ends... that's right, you'll lose. If you're depressed, do something useful that will take your mind off depression; such as, going out with friends, taking road trips, playing games, playing instruments, watching movies, or traveling. As you can see, there are even more options aside from drugs and alcohol. Friends are a definite main solution because if they are true friends, they will be there for you through thick and thin.
Overall, it seems like you've been falling apart a lot... but the main thing is, you've got to learn to live your life up to the fullest and you've got to learn to be strong for yourself at the most. Go out of your way and do what ever you feel you need to do to decrease your depression. This is why we're given our own lives, to live through them on our own two feet and our own self-confidence. So be strong, keep your head up and do your best to think positive. Things will be okay only if you make them that way and remember, I will always be here for you if you need to talk.
(=
-Elle
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
thank you. i will try to take your advice and make more freinds, i do try to make friends, its just half of it is there are alot of jerks out there, and also i keep losing freinds (not really due to fighting or anything, we just drift apart) and so i just kinda dont see the point if they are going to drift apart from me too. but i will try and thank you very much. also, about a hobby or whatever, i do play an instrument in my school orchestra but the thing is, the guy i just broke up with, and my ex that i dated for 2 years are both in orchestra, so that doesnt make me that happy. but still, thank you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bio
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Advice Column -Closed-
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Info
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Member Since: July 29, 2009 Answers: 52 Last Update: September 2, 2015 Visitors: 5737
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|