14/f
(I'm going into 9th grade this fall)
So basically I've never had good self esteem, but lately it's really plummeted. I feel like I'm weird or something...like I act really...weird. I don't know how to describe it. Like one of the weird kids in school. I've always wondered if I was...but I have lots of friends and everything...some are kind of weird and some aren't, but I didn't think they rubbed off on me. But I've been noticing lately...over the summer, I've been doing nothing...hanging out with people once every few weeks. But I had a sleepover with my best friend (who's friends with lots of popular people) and we were like taking turns on the Wii and Facebook and everything and I realised I kept saying things like "I'll own you!"(to the Wii) or "sketchy" and stuff and I felt really stupid because she would give me this look every time I did something I felt was dorky or something... believe me, my best friend is not shallow at all and I love her to death so don't blame it on her or something.
But anyways, I feel really ugly and that I have no friends and no one wants to hang out with me...I just feel like a total loser.
Last week on Facebook I posted some chain note thing where you tagged a bunch of your friends and then they were supposed to say their first impressions of you. So a bunch of people responded and the first to posts were from some of my best friends and they both said "haha, i thought u were quiet and weird...ily:)" which made me feel so stupid. The rest were like "idr" or "nice and quiet". I know I'm really quiet, and I really don't know what to do about it. I never thought it made people think I was weird though.
So could I please get some advice? I need to know how to not get so nervous around people (/being quiet) and whatever else...
Oh also, please don't give me the whole "you shouldn't care about what other people think of you" speech because I really don't care. I've heard that enough. This isn't me wondering how I can be popular or something. I truly just feel like a complete loser.
Thanks
I'm extremely quiet too when I first meet people. Usually after people have known me for a while, they say things like "I thought you were weird when I first met you." or "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."
Simply because I don't talk my head off the second I meet people. Everyone is different and to me, there's no reason to share every detail of my life the minute a meet a group of people. Even knowing how people think of me at first, I don't really care because I know that once they get to know me, they'll like me. (usually)
The only thing you can do to change the way your first impression comes off is to talk more and follow the conversation. Just take a deep breath, clear your mind, and try to stay on topic. I've always had a hard time following conversations among groups, because I think people are boring most of the time. I just zone out and can't really be arsed to follow what they're saying.
But, if you're the type of person that can follow the conversation, pitch in your opinion every couple minutes. You'll show your personality off, so people won't be able to base their opinion off of you on you being quiet. They'll be forced to listen and get to know you before they pass off any judgement.
Also, I'm not going to give you a 'don't care what people thing' speech, but in reality, being weird is not really a bad thing. I've had plenty of people like me because they think I'm strange. The same personalities get boring from time to time.
Yeah, your friends might have thought you were quiet and weird when they first met you (and I know all too well how frustrating that is) but, they are your friends now. That means they like your weirdness, or they got to know you and they like your personality.
And, just so you know, I think saying things like 'I will own you' to inanimate objects is funny. haha. Your friend probably just doesn't have the same sense of humour as you. You could think she's the weird one too, ya know? Different people just have different personalities, and it's a good thing.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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(Rating: 5)
u were very helpful. thank you so much for ur advice, i really appreciate it :) (sorry for the late responce!)
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