About Darby
My name is Darby. I'm seventeen years old. Feel free to e-mail or message me with any question. My e-mail is yo.darbyjay@live.com I will answer anything to the best of my ability. I decided to join this site because I love giving advice and have been told that I'm good at it. I get on every day. Usually a few times. You can also add me on AIM: OiScumPunk@aim.com.
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E-mail: yo.darbyjay@live.com
Gender: Female
Age: 17
MSN: yo.darbyjay@live.com
Member Since: April 26, 2009
Answers: 614
Last Update: December 23, 2009
Visitors: 32148
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Okay. Here's the thing. This boy (14/m) and I (13/f) have been super close for the past year. We really like eachother but agreed that we wouldn't date because we dont feel like we are at a mature enough age to handle it. Also, we knew ahead of time that he would be moving away at the end of the year and I really didn't want to get invloved with him just to have him pulled away... Well I tried as hard as I could but when it comes down to it you can't control your feelings and Ive really fallen for him. He totally understands me, and knows me better than I think some of my friends do. This summer is going to quite literally suck without him. He's not just a boy I like, he's my friend and I dont know what I'm going to do. My friends can see the writing on the wall. They already know what a mess I'm going to be and I know they will want to help but I dont want to have to depend on them. I'm fairly independent and I am mad at myself enough that I have let this boy mess with me so much and I want to be able to handle some of his being gone (not ALL of it, I know not super girl) on my own. So if any of you know any good tips (please dont tell me to just throw myself out there, I'm soo not that kind of person) but maybe just give me some pointers or a few really good promises I can make to myself that I can look at when I am feeling down. You know like "I promise myself I will not mope everyday" or "I will not text/call/IM him everyday" because I really want to move on. I'm too young to be try a long distance relationship (especially when we weren't even dating to begin with!) and I think I just need to get over him, but I ned help. Tips and promises I can make to and practice myself please!!
Well, first of all, you seem very mature for your age. You'll definitely be able to move on from this. I can see that you don't want to just hear that you should go hang out and try to meet new guys so here are some other options.
If you like to write, try keeping a journal if you don't already. Outline a recovery plan that you can use when he goes. Go from smaller to bigger things. Put a box at the top of each page next to the goal and check it off if you do it. Below the goal, elaborate on how easy/hard it was to do this goal and what you did to accomplish the goal.
For example:
Day 1- Let yourself stay in bed as much as you want and mope around.
Day 2- Have a friend come over or go to a friends house for the day.
Day 3- Get your hair cut/try new makeup/give yourself a mani-pedi/do a facial mask.
Day 4- Go to a movie theatre with friends or family and see a movie you really want to see
Day 5- Start reading a good book you've always wanted to read
Day 6 or 7- Plan a sleepover with your girlfriends
Day 8- Watch a few of your favorite movies and read more of the book
and so forth and so on...
By Day 20, make your goal to go out to a skating rink or swimming pool
By Day 30, try to go out with your girl friends and at least say hi to a guy you don't know. This doesn't mean you have to start a relationship or even flirt. Just keep your mind open to new things.
It sounds corny but, pretty soon, you won't even need to keep a recovery journal. Try to keep in touch with him, but not every day. Don't text or call him all the time. And don't be surprised when he meets new people. He's moving, so naturally he's going to have to make new friends. And, yes, some of them may be girls.
Try to be there for him as a friend still, but understand what's in the future for him and you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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(Rating: 5)
Thank you!
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