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I have a beautiful, sweet girlfriend and I am very happy with her in every way. She is a black belt in a martial art though. We are both in our early 20's. To make a long story short the other week a friend of mine asked if she could show him some self defense techniques. She said okay and asked him to try to grab her. He did and next thing she had put him on the ground.

My girlfriend is as feminine and nice as any girl, and my friend is about my size and I am 181 cm weighing 81 kgs – and I work out several times a week and I’m a strong guy. My girlfriend is 166 cm and weighs about 55 kg. I realize now that I was naive, underestimated her and that I had some subconscious macho attitude – but fact is I never would have thought that my girlfriend could take a guy down like that, even though I of course knew she was a black belt. I was completely shocked that she could take down my friend like that. Then I got to try grabbing her, but somehow within a second she had put me on my back. I just couldn't believe it. Then for a couple of minutes we took turns in trying to grab her and we did our best to wrestle her down, but it was simply impossible. She put us on the ground again and again as if we weighed nothing!

I think it’s so cool and good that she can defend herself like that. BUT: this was also the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me – by far. I don’t want to feel that way, but I do. Her martial art was basically created so that a smaller person would be able to beat a bigger and stronger one. I understand that now and I admire her skills, but I still can’t help feeling embarrassed. I'm so much bigger and stronger than her - and she's a girl!

How do I get over this? Considering that she is a black belt maybe I shouldn't even be embarrassed - but I am...

You shouldnt be embarassed. As you said, her martial art is meant for smaller people to be able to defend themselves against bigger ones. The reason why she can toss both of you around like a rag doll is because she is trained in the art. You are not. If you were, you might be able to beat her.

You only feel embarassed because she beat you in something physical and you, being male, feel like you should dominate in that area. But if she beat you in a singing or dance competition, you wouldnt care. And I'm sure she doesnt see it as "she beat you and you lost". You guys asked her to show you some techniques. She did exactly what was asked of her.

You should be proud of her. Not many women are able to defend themselves in that way. At least you dont have to worry about her if shes out alone late at night. And if shes a black belt obviously she's been doing it for a long time. That shows dedication and shes hard working and those qualities are good to have in a partner.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks! And you're 100% right. Even though I kind of knew I shouldn't feel so embarrassed, it's good to hear it from another person.
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