Member Since: March 26, 2009
Answers: 7
Last Update: May 1, 2009
Visitors: 1520
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I am a 24 year Male from India. I am a Gay and I always wanted to live a bachelor life in peace. I graduated 1 year back and I had a problem with my family regarding my post graduation and future career. And I fractured my right elbow 6 months back in a motorbike accident because my brother forced me to learn to drive motorbike. I told him I was scared to drive. I had to undergo surgery to fix my elbow with pins and screws. It still hurts. Nobody else know that I am gay. I dont honestly want a gay marriage either.
Doctor told me I cannot lift heavy weights again. It feels terrible to think that I have to live alone with a compromised right arm all my life and I spent 3 hours finding out ways to commit suicide in google. The thought of the moment of accident is just painful. I need someone to encourage me and advice me. Please help!!!!!
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Hi. Just another perspective. I am middle-aged and fell down stairs five years ago, breaking two bones in an ankle. Surgery, pins, screws, and a cast for two months, then using a walker for a month after the cast was removed. I was told it would never be quite normal again, and that it would develop into arthritis, etc. Well, after the initial few months of pain and learning to support my weight on that leg, it has been fine. Some swelling at night and minor problems, but day to day I don't even think about it having been broken so badly. The pins/screws are still in the bones and will stay, but they also are forgotten. Five years later, and much older than you, no arthritis or stiffness. I think if you stay active after you have fully healed, you will soon forget about your elbow troubles.
As to being gay, instead of looking on the internet for ways to end a promising, beautiful life, look for groups to join for support, either in person close to where you live, or on-line that you can write to whenever you feel depressed. Some degree of depression is natural when you are dealing with things that seem overwhelming, but you do need to reach out either to someone in person or a group on the internet if you feel close to wanting to kill yourself! There are sooo many other men and women in the world who are feeling or have felt depressed in your situation. But, think about how good it does feel to know that you live in a time in history when most people in the world either could care less if you are gay or support your right to choose to love and be attracted to your same sex. If you feel you are surrounded by people that are not supportive of your rights, find people that do! Find a group that is filled with love and laughter and you soon won't care what the negative people that were around you have to say!
About your brother: I'm certain he feels spiritually every bit as bad about the accident as you do physically. He probably had insisted upon you learning to drive the motorbike with some nice outcome in mind. Did he think you would have a greater sense of freedom? Did he want you to know the joy he felt when riding? There must have been some reason he was insistant. Do you think he wanted you to be hurt? No. But now you both are in different ways. The only way to get over this is to go through it. Tell him you realized that he never intended for you to get injured. Forgiving him will be more healing than holding on to resentment ever could be. It could also be the first step to opening up to him about the feelings of depression/suicide you've been having, and perhaps he can ultimately be a way to begin to feel more at peace with all of this that has been going on in your life.
Focus on the fact that you have a good education, are young, and have so much to look forward to!
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Rating: 5
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Thankyou very very much for your kind advice sir/madame. It was truly helpful....
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