Member Since: February 25, 2009
Answers: 131
Last Update: April 8, 2009
Visitors: 8070
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Well I have this friend that I care about a whole lot. I've known her practically my whole life, but for various reason our friendship became problematic. One day I had agreed that I would make time so that we could go somewhere together because the guy she really liked was going to be there. I assumed she would go with someone else but as it turned out, she called me and I had made other plans. After that she transferred schools and I called her but she never picked up. One day after two months I finally spoke to her. It was a difficult conversation because she was telling me that I had changed over time for the worse. A while back I had poor self esteem and I guess I was a "poser" because of it. I took a lot of my frustration out on her at the time. The thing is that whenever I think of her I am reminded of who I used to be then and it makes me feel bad about who I am now. In my head I guess it'll always matter to me if she thinks I am a "poser" because it hurts to know that the person closest to you thinks that. I call her like once a week but she never is home. We haven't spoken in about a month. I'm wondering if I should keep trying to fix this or if maybe I should just let it go? (link)
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Well, maybe you should do BOTH.
First - quit beating yourself up. Everyone, even your friend, goes through periods of low self-esteem. If she hasn't yet she will.
Those periods of hardship force you to change...and sometimes you have to try different things before you figure it out. You weren't just posing, you were trying something new to see how it fit you.
It is ok to change. Everyone changes. What fun would it be if we were just like we were in 8th grade?
Don't compare 'who you were then' to 'who you are now'. Instead compare 'who you are now' to 'who you WANT to be'. Then make steps to move in that direction. Sometimes you will get it right, and sometimes you won't. That is ok.
Instead of calling - write her a heart felt note and apologize for any of your actions that you felt you hurt her, neglected her, or was unfair to her. Then let it go. It is up to her to accept or reject your apology.
Let some time pass. Become happy with who you are ... then give her a call. Hopefully after the apology and some time to get past her own pain, she will be more accepting of you again.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you. You've been really helpful :)
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