Member Since: February 25, 2009
Answers: 7
Last Update: February 25, 2009
Visitors: 1372
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I'm 18/f and a college freshman.
I dated this boy on and off throughout high school, and we were still great friends when our relationship ended this past summer. He had been in a really bad, near fatal car wreck last March, but he was recovering and doing more than the doctors ever said he could.
I found out last Thursday afternoon that he had committed suicide last Wednesday night (he had ODd on his pain pills and they found a near empty bottle of everclear next to his bed). I still don't believe it was suicide... I mean, that's what they're saying, but I know him so well and just can't bring myself to believe it... he must have just been in a lot of pain.. IDK.. I guess it was suicide... Anyway, I've been really incredibly angry that he would do that (suicide or not... all those pills and alcohol!) to me, his mom, and his cousin - the three people who loved him most - not to mention any other friends.
A few years ago, his half sister was killed from drinking and driving, and I can't seem to bring myself to think that he would leave his mom all alone...
Rather than making me sad, I'm just .. pissed off that he would do this - leave us all here to wonder why and to pick up the pieces all over again. I'm even more pissed that he's left me here to deal with his sisters death all by myself (her and I were BEST friends, and I blamed myself for her death)...
Anyway... am I crazy for being so angry with him?! I mean, of course I'm sad that he's gone, but my anger is overpowering every other feeling I have... (link)
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First I want to say sorry for your loss I know it's hard to lose someone you love. You have every right to feel angry towards him and you excepting that you are angry at him will give you piece. When your friend committed suicide he wasn't thinking about how it could affect anyone who loves and cares about it, but that's how people are able to commit suicide it makes it easier on them when they just think of their own pain rather than everyone else's. Let out your anger, because you holding it in makes it worse for you and you feeling like its not right to be angry is also not good. That could be part of the reason why your friend committed suicide because he kept things inside and didn't tell anyone what was truly going on with him and getting help. And just so you know those pain killers can depress people and change the happy person you knew into someone completely different, I've seen it first hand. You just make sure that you talk to people about it and let your anger out and know its ok!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much! I never thought about his medication being part of the cause of the depression... it just makes me so angry that he felt that way, didn't tell anyone, and then just did something - something stupid - about it!
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