Hi everybody!I'm a 14,5 year-old girl who enjoys life to the max.I'm happy-I have good family,great friends,an awesome bf,I'm beautiful and smart...What more could a girl ask for?
Anyway,feel free to ask me for advice,I'm glad to give any help needed.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 14
Member Since: February 14, 2009
Answers: 44
Last Update: April 9, 2009
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Hi, I'm 21 f, he's 23 m.
The basics: We dated for a few months almost three years ago, but broke up because he was having depression issues and couldn't handle our relationship on top of all that. We...didn't have the best time when we were together. Neither of us were really ourselves for various reasons. He was a little emotionally abusive, and I was insecure, borderline anorexic...etc...
So, we remained friends and hung out a lot over the past few years, growing together, having fun just doing nothing...We both had some trials and leaned on each other for support, and the one thing that hasn't changed is that we love each other. His family hates me, and that has stopped us from really being together, as we were both a little afraid of what they would do to him if we were to get back together. Recently, he had a conversation with them in which he admitted exactly how he felt about me, and they said they would accept me.
So, after both of us dating around a little and coming to the conclusion that we wanted to be with each other and no one else, we've decided to make it official again.
Whew. All right, so here's my problem: I'm so used to not being able to tell him how I feel about him, and not being able to show it that I feel like I don't know how to do either of those things anymore.
He voiced earlier today that he almost feels like I'm taking him for granted, and I'm definitely not. He could have anyone he wanted and he picked me. (Of course, I was in the same boat, and I made the same decision.) I mean, it feels like kind of a given to me that I have him...because I do, even after three years, both of us having met other people and hung out with them. I don't feel like he's about to walk away at any point, and I don't think I should feel that way.
But after three years of battles and holding back and pretending I can finally be honest and show him just how much I love him, and I don't know how to do it...which is odd, because I'm a writer. You'd think I'd be able to write him a love letter or something, but I'm not sure I know how to express it in words.
I'm also aware that our relationship is gonna be more difficult than normal because we didn't have the best past. We fought a lot, but we fought THROUGH things and made up every time. We're also not getting to know each other any more really, we've kind of been together, but we haven't. I feel like there's a lot of pressure for this to work, and I really want it to. We can't really afford relationship counseling, otherwise I might run it by him.
Any ideas, anyone? Any suggestions? I really want things to be good with us this time.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Here's my opinion:you should sit and think how you really feel about him,as well as have a talk with him and make an overview of your relationship so far.Love isn't an obligation.If you can't be yourself around him,then you've got the problem.There's no need for words when it comes to love.Actions are what matters.Don't pressure yourself-just let it go with the flow.
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Rating: 3
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I never said I couldn't be myself around him. The problem was a bunch of habits that I needed to break as far as clamming up about the way I felt. You are right, though - actions do speak louder than words.
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