Member Since: February 6, 2009
Answers: 28
Last Update: February 15, 2009
Visitors: 3229
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16/f. So, around the time the new year started, I started dating my current boyfriend. I care about him a lot because we were friends before dating and we can tell eachother anything. Anyways, my dad doesn't like him, at all. He thinks that my boyfriend has "no personality", no direction in life, and only after sex. When I first found out how he felt about him, it really hurt, because he's actually the complete opposite. My dad is also very overprotective in general: I'm only allowed to go to the mall or some other secure location like a friend's house(if the friend is a girl of course), no guys are allowed at my house, and I am only allowed to sleepover at 2 of my friends' houses. Anyways, my boyfriend is quite the opposite. He used to take me to cool stores and restaurants and I would go to his house. However, I did all of that without my parents knowing. He would get very angry if he found out. Recently, however, things started going downhill. My bf came to visit me one day at my house and my dad got furious and didn't let him in the house. After that, he tried seeing me again, because it was our anniversary. He didn't go to my house but waited nearby so I could go outside. My dad found out he was nearby because he picked up the phone in the middle of our conversation. Then he yelled at him and told him to go home. Since that day, I've been grounded. I'm afraid that I'll still be grounded on valentine's day. :( And this all stinks because I think that my dad needs to get over it. I mean, I understand that he's concerned that I'll get pregnant or just hurt in general, but I know that I am mature and can make intelligent decisions. I have really good grades in school and don't do drugs or drink. I help around the house too. But I tried talking to my parents about my bf, but my dad just "knows" that this guy is bad news. It's just really unfortunate because I don't even go to the same school as him, so how will I ever see him if my dad keeps me on lockdown? Any suggestions? Thanks. (link)
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You know what, The exact same thing happen to me when I was 16. My dad hated this guy I was dating, just hated him. He called him all these names. I thought I loved this guy. I even had a wreck driving my car to follow this bf because my dad just told him off while he was at my house. I was so upset at my dad. Now, that I'm lots older, I see that my dad was right. This guy was so not what he said he was. My dad knew something I didn't. It took me forever to figure this out. My parents did let me do a lot more than yours. Where is your mom in all this? It does sound like your dad is very protective, one thing is for sure, he loves you. I think I would go out and get this book called,'How to talk to teens so teens will talk' book and help him learn how to do this. Leave it on his table or where he sits. It's difficult to be a parent, we want to protect our children from everything, but he would greatly benefit in learning to communicate with you, then you wouldn't be sneaking around to do what you want anyway. Your dad would be able to learn to trust you if he could to communicate. It is going to be hard for him to do this, if he catches you sneaking around trying to see this guy. Then he will say you can't be trusted.Oh, he already did catch you. So now you need to talk to him about communication. I know how you feel firsthand. I know what its like to want to be around someone your dad hates. This is how I know you will do anything for this to happen. I read one of your responses, I hope he is a person that will listen. Don't forget the book, I hope he is a reader. You know, its so hard being the teen growing up, and it's so hard being the parent that wants your child to be safe. Your a nice and sensible person, this is good. Good luck, and hang in there.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much. It's nice to know that someone can relate to this because I haven't really had someone to talk to about all this. My mom actually works doing people's taxes and since it's tax season, she's swamped with work. Usually, she would be here at home calling all the shots, but since my dad is here, I have to deal with his much stricter rules. I know that they both love me a lot and honestly want to help me. My mom keeps telling me to just give my dad time rather than trying to pressure him into understanding. And today is actually a great day, because my bf transferred to my school, not for me but because he's been longing to leave his school for a long time. So now, I know things will be different for us. Thank you for all your help. :)
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