about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

Okay so around August me and my ex boyfriend broke up. He was my first love and after it ended it's taken me a while to get over it. I have never been so hurt in my life. Well now im doing pretty okay without him and I met someone else and now we are dating. He is very cute and sweet and I like him very much. But Now I feel weird about it. I know I am not fully over my ex, I still love him very much but I would never go back with him because too much has changed and I know I should be moving on but im starting to get those feelings I had when we first broke up and now I have my new boyfriend, he doesn't know I feel this way but I find it to be very unfair for him because now I'm having second thoughts of whether or not I should be in a relationship but I also feel I shouldn't be letting my feelings for my ex knowing that nothing is going to happen between us again get in the way of me being with someone else. SO now Im really confused and dont know what to do :(

I know how you're feeling. Do you find yourself comparing your new boyfriend to your ex? Jeez, I can remember how many times I did that and how exhausting it was! You seem to be very mature about the situation though, and it's thoughtful to be worried that your being unfair to your new bf. You should just take a break from everything, sit back and really think. Do you truly like this new guy? Does he treat you better than your ex? Is he just a rebound? Maybe you're feeling a little guilty that you're actually happy again! That happens too. If you know that you don't want to ever get back with your ex, and you've stopped contact with your ex (i hope you have! that just makes it worse) then you should put all your energy toward this new guy. You might even be unconciously making yourself feel this way because your scared of getting hurt again. It's like your heart's defense mechanism.

The bottom line is, if you like this new guy and he's making you feel great and you're happy, dive in and go for it. Don't go to places that remind you of your ex and don't talk about your ex to your new bf. Show this new guy that you're strong and happy, and let him have a chance! He sounds like a good guy.

[view]

(Rating: 5) thank you :)
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker