Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
Check out my blog on blogspot! (Chattin With Libra Rajani)librarajani.blogspot.com
Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
Visitors: 14897
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
Friendship
View All
|
| |
Alright. This will be long. Brace yourselves. I started seeing this guy over the summer and it started out as a fling. I am a senior in high school and he is a senior in college. He lives 10 minutes away from me, but he goes to college across the country. When we first started seeing each other, both of us thought it would be just a fun hook-up thing, and nothing more, especially because of our 4-year age difference. We both thought when summer was over, that would be that, and we'd never see each other again.
Turns out, we liked each other more then we expected. We texted and messaged daily for the past few months while he was away at college, and we told each other how we couldn't wait to see each other again. A couple of weeks ago he came home for winter break. We hung out almost every day, and he even met each other's families. Plus, he wanted to introduce me to his brother and friends which I see as a good sign. We admitted to each other that we like each other a lot. He isn't one to say cheesy or corny things and he is always honest, so when he says he likes me, I know he means it. I love seeing him and he loves seeing me. The age thing doesn't phase us anymore, either.
We'd go out and have fun and we'd stay in and have fun too. We basically can't get enough of each other. He left a few days ago to go back to school and it made me sad. I even cried a little, but not in front of him. Neither of us like saying goodbye. We're still contacting and I assume we will every day just like before when he was away. He will come back in a few months for spring break and then again for summer vacation not long after. I'm assuming we will still be seeing each other throughout all of that time.
Don't get me wrong, though, we are not technically dating, like boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess you would say we are seeing each other. Maybe dating. Just not "officially". Because of this, I don't know if he is hooking up with other girls or not. He doesn't know if I'm hooking up with guys either. I wouldn't, though, and I don't think he would either. It's kind of an unspoken thing. I just... trust him. And since we're not technically dating, I guess I couldn't get mad if he hooks up with some girl anyways.
Sorry, I'm getting a little off track. The thing is, I really think I am falling for him. I have learned from experience not to put my heart on the line and jump into things, so for me to say that I am falling for him is a pretty big thing. I look at guys at my high school and i just have absolutely no interest. However, I'm going to college next year, and I want to have fun. I'm not saying I want to go and hook up with guys nonstop, but I want to have the fun college experience that everybody should have. But, at the same time, I don't want to ruin my chances with him. I'm worried that I'll decide to forget about him and have fun in college and then realize that he is the only one I want to be with. I don't think I could forget about him, though.
Also, I don't know what he is going to think when I go to college. I don't know if he will assume it is over or what. I want to stay with him but i don't want to miss out on college experiences. It's so hard! I need help. I know it may have seemed unnecessary for me to include all of that text, but I think background info. is important. Thanks so much. I appreciate it! (link)
|
Hi,
I completely understand your dilemma. That's a tough situation to be in. For me, I think the first thing you should do is to get clear with each other. You can't do or assume anything until you find out where you stand. Sure, it's fun and exciting to keep doing what you are doing. However, you are right when you say that you would have no voice if he were to start seeing someone else. You wouldn't have a leg to stand on. On the other hand, neither would he if it were reversed.
You could always agree to have an open relationship, where you see other people. There could be a number of different ways to play it.
If you want to enjoy the college experience, you should; especially if that includes seeing other guys. If you really want that and don't do it, you will regret it and you can't get it back.
If it's meant to be, maybe the two of you will hook up at another time.
Like I said, whatever you decide, you have to find out if and what kind of relationship the two of you have. You can't decide anything on assumptions. You need to make an educated decision. I hope this helped you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thanks so much! I agree. An open relationship sounds like a really good idea.
|
|