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April 27, 2008Answers:
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I am 24 years old and a male and my Fiance is 24 yrs old and a female. December 6 at 10:45 pm my fiance and i were laying in bed about to go to sleep when her cousins came knocking on the door. Now to help you understand. Her family has been trying to get her to leave me for some time now and they pop up every now and then. Well i begged Erica (my Fiance) not to go out there and put me through this...knowing that it was only a matter of time before she would give into them. Well i was on my knees begging and she walked up to me gave me a hug and told me that she loved me and that they were just worried about her and to give her 5 or 10 min and she would be back inside. Well that wasnt the case. She ended up leaving me. And the next day when i tried to email her. She just read the email and then blocked and deleted me. She never even told me that it was over or goodbye...what should i do and expect...please help. I havent been able to sleep, eat or stop thinking about how this is all my fault.
I do not know the whole situation because Im not there but it seems to me that maybe her family sees you as a threat to her well being and they are worried about her safety.
Now I understand that you may not have been violent, and that is a good thing. But abuse isnt always violent. Now you say you have a temper and do not always say the nicest things. Do you just get irritable on occasion and say some things you dont mean? Or are you yelling over the smallest things very often and putting her down?? Just saying that you have a little bit of a temper and dont always say the nicest things doesnt give me enough information to tell you if its you or not.
But what I can tell you is if you can see that you have a temper and dont always say the nicest things, then do something about it. It is one of the worst feelings in the world to have someone yelling at you constantly and putting you down. I know from experience.
Loving someone more than the air you breathe isnt always enough. There also has to be respect, honesty, equality, etc. There are people in the world that love their significant others more than the air they breathe but also beat the crap out of them day in and day out. See what Im saying?
You need to make her feel respected. Make her feel like she is worth it. Show her that you would do anything in the world to keep her by your side. And obviously her family means something to her so it wouldnt be a bad idea to show them as well.
Now im not saying its your fault. Im just trying to be honest and give my opinion. Like I said Im not in your relationship so I dont know the whole story. But you sound like you really want her in your life. And if thats the case then take a good look in the mirror and think about your temper and the things that you say to her when your angry and think about how that might make her feel.
I wish you guys the best and I hope everything works out. Happy Holdays.
(Rating: 5) Thank you and you are right. Happy Holidays. And i will do exactly that. I need to show her and her family that i am not a threat and that i can be a nice person again. And it was the yelling or no reason and putting her down....and that is why i know it is my fault.