I am a female who has been through many things in life. I've made a few foolish choices; but have also made a few okay ones. I feel like hopefully the mistakes I've made or the experiences I've been through can help others avoid pain and/or heartache; so that's why I joined. I wished in life someone had shared their true experiences with me if they were similar and could help.
Most people telling me not to do something; had no idea what I was going through. It was like those y?, non-smoking commercials all over tv and you can tell the people behind them never picked up a cigarette or understand why you did. I've managed to quit; but the commercials still infuriate me.
So that's me. And, I'll try to help if I can.
Member Since: November 23, 2008
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Okay I'm 15 and a girl,I'm a freshman and for the last 2 years my dad's been acting all bitchy and just an asshole at me! >O
What the fuck?!
He says things to me that emply that I'm fucking around with guys! Which I'm not I haven't even had a real boyfriend yet!D:
So where's he getting this from?
He's been bitchin at me lately about having to buy me clothes,I barely have any.:[
Yet he gives my oldest sister money to fix her shitty car every time it breaks down;and he's like don't worry about paying me back.
What the hell?
So tonight my dad and I got in a nother spat about me going to the movies...All I asked for was ten dollars,ten fucking dollars ad he spazzes out at me!D<
He's like,"I don't have money for you to waste,I just want to go see Twilight with my bestfriend god is that to much to ask?
Shit and I'm not even going to eat,since they raised the price for the movie tickets..>->
So after he yells at me for like a good 12 minutes he finally gives me ten dollars,I say thank you and shit.As he's leaving my room he say,"I don't want any unexpected bellys in this house!
D:<
fgjhgkdj;
>x[
So at this point I've had enough,and scream like a maniac;yeah I know bad...U-U
But I couldn't take t,all I say is "What the fuck?!!! Why do you always say that shit,why the fuck do you always act as if I'm some whore?!"
He's like,"Don't talk to me like that,why the fuck do you always act like this when I give you advice for your own good!!!"
Okay one,he doesn't say it nicely he completly breaks me down and god I swear.So then he's like,"Answer me!" I'm crying and trying not to say anything so I just tell him to leave me alone.He slams my door and I run to lock it,meanwhile he's yelling at me still;"I don't want any assholes calling me! Fuck you pieces of shit!"
Then he says the final thing that completly breaks me inside and out,he says he dissowns me,and to never bother him again,that I never had a father so just to forget him....So since I have no "father" I just don't care anymore,I been thinking about getting snake bites,my friend's uncle is a professional piercer,he has his own shop and he'll do it for me.My socalled dad said I couldn't get my lip pierced,but this is someyhing I want,and since "I have no father," I'm thinking I will!:)
I'm just scarred that if I do and he sees iy he'll like...I guess hurt me or rip it out...He;s said it before and I just don't know what to do...=_=' (link)
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Well it sounds like to me one of two things. Your Dad could have a mental problem like bipolar mania or something. Or he could just be one of those people good at seeing patterns in people that can lead to a negative situation for that person. Whatever his reasons are; the abuse is unacceptable and I would video tape these tirades and report him to child protective services if it were me. But anyhoo.
He also is showing obviously preferential treatment towards your sister. This is also unacceptable.
Now sometimes older people can be like Judge Judy. If you ever watch her show; sometimes she'll just rail on someone for what seems like no reason. I worked in senior citizen care for about a year and old people can spot things that we can't. Like what your father may be saying is that he can see patterns in your behavior that he feels if you're not reminded constantly about his stance on it; then you will be susceptible to certain things and problematic situations.
He obviously seems to feel also that your sister is not susceptible to these same issues. REGARDLESS of whether this is the reason or not.
His behavior is exceedingly damaging and detrimental parenting. As for you, alot of times; a lack of trust from a loved one can lead us to do a lot worst things then we would've done if not accused. I don't think you should get the piercing. The only thing you'll be doing with that is hurting yourself.
The best thing to do is to try and find a life away from your father's abuse and cruelty. Find a group of people that are doing positive things. Success is always the best revenge. Believe me I've tried the other form.
I don't know your religion; but there are often a lot of really fun teenage groups at those really large churches. But if Christianity is not your thing; then, find out what you enjoy doing sports, shopping, art, performing, martial arts whatever; then emmerse yourself in that when you're not involved in school. Not only will you be super successful in something. You may have a new talent or skill that makes you more attractive to prospective colleges and may even win you a scholarship. Then also start to focus on the future; college and what you want to do in life.
The failure your Dad is harping on you about is simple to overcome. You're obviously a smart girl or you wouldn't have asked for help before you made a rash decision. Your father is obviously wrong about you.
Just remember, when it comes to failure; the age old saying is "most people don't plan to fail they just fail to plan." It's really that simple. Just be successful and leave him in the dust.
Now he may come around later and be your best friend or something may work out. But, sometimes parents just don't like their children. It's not always talked about; but it's true. Some kids; just like some adults rub their parents the wrong way. But, this usually only happens with parents that are intolerant; judgemental people all around.
I myself am a black sheep and may not ever get back into my family's good graces completely b/c of mistakes and past differences. And most people don't realize how important parental approval can be if not given; even for adults. But, once you realize you need it and you probably won't get it from these particular people. YOU CAN MOVE ON AND HAVE A BETTER LIFE.
One thing I got from working in elder care was 5 extra sets of grandparents that encouraged me and told me how talented I was in ways my parents never would. That experience for me helped mend my spirit in many ways and allowed me to begin to move on from the pain of my family's constant judgements and rejections.
My parents and family are still an important part of my life since I came from them. But, I am happy within myself and no longer am hurt by them and their controlling craziness. I also am building my life the best and healthiest way for me. That does mean making decisions that they would tell me to make sometimes or it can mean making completely different ones. But, the most important thing is to make sure you're not hurting yourself to avenge someone else who's most likely not even going to be affected by your actions.
Also, it sounds like you're the type of person that self destructs when things go wrong. Your dad may be the type of person that rails on the weaker people around him. That may be his motivation. I really can't tell. All I know is that he sounds incredibly abusive and something should be done about that. But, that action is up to you. And also you should just let God bring you a new father figure and sense of self worth through positive healthy outlets.
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Rating: 5
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Yeah, thank you so much. You're pretty right about how I act and all. I didn't get the snakebites, I didn't want to make things worse then they already were. After awhhile his uh "bullying"...>->; That's what my social worker called it, but anyways when I couldn't take anymore of it I went to another friend who's had problems with his dad aswell. He's also had problems with his dad, worse then mine. But I won't get into it. I asked him if I could go with him to one of his seminars with his therapist, he agreed and so I did. After he had his time I wasked to see her and we spoke for what seemed ages, when those 47 minutes where up she gave me a few numbers to call and some instructions on what to do with each number. Eh long story short my parents and I both descussed everything with a social worker...My dad was pretty pissed about that, but I'm happy with the way things turned out anyway. I'm living with my aunt now, as for my old friend we never did really talk again. But it's okay, I've made new ones at my new school and I've kept the old ones. The one's that were true. :] It's strange how things work out in the end, my dad still isn't happy with the things that I do, he still plays favorites with my older sisters and I. Sadly to say he isn't as involved in my life much now in days, my mom still visits me and she always say the same three things. "You wear to much eyeliner. "... "Your father sends his love." And my favorite...."When are you coming back home?" Well yeah, my school work's gotten WAY better, with the help of tutors...T-T
My aunt made me, which is okay I know she does everything for my wellbeing, nicely too. Uh lets see I've been researching and looking into writing, and on what classes to take to become a novelist. Also a mangaka I love to draw and hope to become a well known japanese comic book artist!:D So yeah...Thank you once again, alsoooo, yeah studying and finals. Couldn't get online much for fun, so that's why the late reply. Just if you were wondering, which you probably won't...O-O;
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