Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
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Razhie
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Here is the thing. I am not ugly, but I am not what you would call hot. I would say that I am between moderate and very pretty. But, whenever I go somewhere with my 2 best friends in the whole world, guys will only pay attention to them. It really bugs me, at school, they are on the top 5 hot list that the guys make up, and even complete strangers will come up to flirt with them. I am always around and may get a little attention but they boys always seem more interested in my 2 friends. Its not a good feeling. What should I do??? (link)
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This is actually a common feeling for many women. I'm sure you're already making yourself as beautiful as possible, but that's just half of it.
See, you may not be very approachable. Guys love girls who smile and laugh. If you're feeling insecure around your friends, or shy, or you're concerned you don't measure up then you're probably projecting that without even realizing it.
So that's good news because it's something that's totally within your control to work on. When you're out try harder to smile and remind yourself why you're great. Also, when you get dressed try to pick out the clothes that make you feel HOT, something that doesn't make you fiddle around with it or tug at it to keep it in place. The more comfortable you are in your skin, the more attractive you'll be.
Lastly, don't beat yourself up over this. I know plenty of attractive women who don't get hit on that often. That doesn't make them better than you.
While your friends may be more popular with the guys, that doesn't mean every guy will prefer them over you. The world is just not set up that way.
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Rating: 5
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I re-read your advice today, and for some reason, it made much more sense, and I guess you are right, it shouldn't matter, but that's the problem... it does. It still bugs me, even more now because both of my friend have boyfriends, and the boys at our school still talk about how hot they are and they flirt with them. It kind of bugs me because it makes me think "Alright... I'm the only one open here, and I'm still ignored??" But, I tried using your advice, the smiling thing, and to tell you the truth, I have noticed that boys seem to talk to me a lot more. So that is why I decided to change your advice from a 4 to a 5. Thanks!
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