About Mystique23
I am here to help. I give my honest opinions, no matter what age you might be. If you have a question for me I will try and answer as soon as possible and give each question undivided attention.
:)
Now for the fun, I like to hangout I am very cool. I am a bit different. I standout some times (nothing that I try to do, it just happens). I learned to embrace being different. Because sometimes different isn't different, it's just originality!!!!!! :)
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Gender: Female
Age: 21
Member Since: September 8, 2008
Answers: 71
Last Update: March 28, 2013
Visitors: 4625
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15/f
I just found out a week ago that a lot of my friends are sexually active. And I'm not, like at all.
I don't want to just find a random guy and do sexual things with him, but the way my friends talk about it...they kinda tell me in a condescending way. Like "Oh yes, I did this...and oh there's little Jane over there, still innocent." They aren't being mean or anything and they don't mean to say it like that I don't think, but it's just sort of shocking.
I guess that I always thought that I'd kinda be the first or something. Or that I'd at least get somewhere. I don't really want to be sexually active unless it's with someone really really special that I'm really really committed to. Like we are talking major commitment. My friends who are sexually active have boyfriends that they've been dating for years.
I guess I sort of just feel like a loser because I haven't gone very far. And I know that I shouldn't, but now knowing that my friends have makes me feel like I'm left out of something and too stupid to do any of it. I just thought that it was okay not to be sexually active because that was the normal thing, but now that the majority of my friends are, I just feel weird and prude. But then there's another part of me that now feels like stuff like that is automatically expected in a relationship at our age and I'm not sure if I'd be ready for that if I ever have another boyfriend. I don't want to make a stupid mistake OR feel like I HAVE to make a stupid mistake.
I know that you shouldn't have sex just because everyone else is doing it. I'm just confused and I can't talk to my mom about this because that would betray my friends.
Does that make any sense?
It is so normal to feel this way. There are so many young girls who are not having sex and thinks that everyone is doing it , so you are not alone. I went through and sometimes still go through the same thing. A lot of my friends recently told me that if they could do it all over again, they would not have had sex when they did. They say that everyone was doing it, and it seemed like the cool thing to do at the time.
There is nothing wrong with not having sex, if you can't relate to certain things that your friends talk about it is o.k. You remind me of me a bit. I think that sometimes when people feel like they made a wrong decision , it is better to find people who made the same decision and let the one person who had a mind of their own feel left out. That seems to be what your friends are doing to you. (NOT saying that they are not good friends)
You seem like a smart girl, it does not make you less of a person or female if you have not had sex. Wait for the right time, wait for YOUR right time. You will find a guy that appreciates your individuality.
One more thing when the time is right, (which in my opinion does not seem like now or the near future) please make sure to use protection. I don't think that I have to give you the talk about the diseases that are floating around.
You not having sex does not make you an outcast it makes you an individual, who does not need to follow a crowd. Empower yourself, you are 15 you have time. : ) Hope that this helps!!!!!!!!!
P.S. If you have any more questions you can talk to me
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(Rating: 5)
Wow thank you. This made me feel way better about myself. =]
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