Member Since: August 3, 2008
Answers: 29
Last Update: October 9, 2008
Visitors: 2368
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15/f
I just found out a week ago that a lot of my friends are sexually active. And I'm not, like at all.
I don't want to just find a random guy and do sexual things with him, but the way my friends talk about it...they kinda tell me in a condescending way. Like "Oh yes, I did this...and oh there's little Jane over there, still innocent." They aren't being mean or anything and they don't mean to say it like that I don't think, but it's just sort of shocking.
I guess that I always thought that I'd kinda be the first or something. Or that I'd at least get somewhere. I don't really want to be sexually active unless it's with someone really really special that I'm really really committed to. Like we are talking major commitment. My friends who are sexually active have boyfriends that they've been dating for years.
I guess I sort of just feel like a loser because I haven't gone very far. And I know that I shouldn't, but now knowing that my friends have makes me feel like I'm left out of something and too stupid to do any of it. I just thought that it was okay not to be sexually active because that was the normal thing, but now that the majority of my friends are, I just feel weird and prude. But then there's another part of me that now feels like stuff like that is automatically expected in a relationship at our age and I'm not sure if I'd be ready for that if I ever have another boyfriend. I don't want to make a stupid mistake OR feel like I HAVE to make a stupid mistake.
I know that you shouldn't have sex just because everyone else is doing it. I'm just confused and I can't talk to my mom about this because that would betray my friends.
Does that make any sense? (link)
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There is NOTHING wrong with waiting for that special someone to share your first time with. Even if your friends are doing it with every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes their way, it doesn't mean you have to.
This may sound cheesy, but my mother used to tell me that your virginity is the greatest gift you can give to the man that you love. Men feel a sense of pride when they are with a girl who has never done anything before.
Sex isn't supposed to be just a physical act. It is also meant to be a bonding experience between you and someone you love. Yes, sex feels good. But if it's not with someone you care about, when the sex ends, so does the nice feeling. However, if you're with someone you truly love and care about, that feeling never goes away.
So, now that I've ranted, the best advice I can give you in this situation is to ignore your friends' comments. They are just trying to show off and probably just want to feel more adult. However, if you wait until the right moment, you will be the mature one, not them.
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