about

I'm a vegan. I like glam rock and androgynous males. I have two cats. they're mystical beings. I'm going to college in less than a month.

advice

well my best friend went on a mission trip and met this guy and now she really likes him. and then today they went out together and he asked her out and she said yes! they have only known each other for a week and a half and shes only a sophmore while hes a senior!! im really upset. i think it was really stupid. shes never had a boyfriend because shes usually smart about guys but now shes making bad decisions. they started holding hands and stuff before they even dated! and i wouldnt care but THEYVE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER A LITTLE OVER A WEEK! and shes said YES whan he asked her out!! i just cant be happy for her because now i know shes gonna start kissing him and im upset because i want to be happy for her when she gets her first kiss and when she has her first relationship but i feel like shes giving everything up for a guy she barely knows!!!! i of course will talk to her about it but what should i do? he does seem genuine but neither of us hardly know him! if shes thinks hes right shouldnt she at least wait a little? especially before she gives up her first kiss and who knows what else!! please help :)

I'm going out on a limb in my answer, so I'll explain where I'm coming from first.

back when I was a freshmen in high school I became really really close to a girl in my english class. by sophomore year we were hanging out all the time and pretty much inseparable. people were actually disturbed by how close we were. she was my best friend and I was really really happy to be her best friend. junior year in high school, she got her first boyfriend (while I knew her) and started spending a lot of time with him. she'd tell me about her first kiss and dates and whatnot and I got really insanely jealous, so I faked a boyfriend for a really long time, but the jealous feelings never went away. even if I really was dating, I was still jealous of whoever she was dating because he got to spend much more time with her than I did. that summer she cancelled an engagement with me and it was the final straw. some may call it irrationality on my part, but I haven't talked to her civilly since then.

now, you can be a happy friend or a jealous friend. whichever one you are you can't really change, but just figure out why you are that way. are you jealous that she's having these experiences (and you're being left behind boyfriend-less) or that she's with someone else? does it feel like she's cheating on your friendship? are you jealous that you can't be with her non-stop anymore?

think long and hard about what kind of jealousy you're feeling. I finally realized a few months ago that I was feeling jealous because I had a crush on my friend and I felt alienated by her going off with boys being that I found myself unfortunately attracted to her. every date and story thereafter and kiss stolen in a car was a slap in my face because I knew that we could never be together as long as I stayed female. it took a few years to realize that I am a lesbian and also be comfortable enough about that to start dating women. I'm not saying that this is your situation, but it is a possibility.

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(Rating: 3) thanks but i actually live like really far away (i just moved) and ive had like 4 boyfriends while shes never had a guy..and i WANT to feel happy for her for having a bf and part of me is happy but im extremely worried about her getting hurt anyway thanks :)
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