about

I don't judge. I've seen a lot, and the things I haven't, I'm always open to listening to. I want to make a difference.

advice

I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend is gay. I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all. I could care less what sexual preference people have. I have three lesbian friends and it doesn't bother me. It's just that when I met my ex, he wasn't gay. When I met my lesbian friends, they'd already come out and everything. It's just such a shock to me. It just feels weird. He only just realized that he was gay a few months ago, and he came out last week. (We broke up in March, and he realized this apparently in the beginning of May.)
I'm not prejudiced at all against gay people, it's just a weird feeling that someone I was dating turned out to be gay. There's nothing wrong with that as a person, just the idea is sort of uncomfortable you know?
Him and I are still friends and everything...it wasn't a messy break-up. I don't have a problem being around him even though he's gay, in fact it makes things a little easier. Just the idea is hard to get used to.
-15/f

It dosen't sound like you're uncomfortable with the fact that he's gay really, more that it's a really big change that you probably didn't expect at all. That, or maybe that someone who was with you isn't really interested in girls anymore? (Though I'm sure you're rational enough to know that's nothing you caused.)

First though, you're sure there were no lingering feelings or anything? That that'd be maybe why you're a little uncomfortable? It's just a possibility. That or maybe thinking that the relationship could start up again? If so, realize 'coming out' isn't always a permenant thing. (Sorry, it must have seemed random of that's not the case and you don't have feelings for him).

Over time, you'll end up getting used to everything. It'll take time, that's for sure, but it'll probably be pretty similar to your lesbian friends. You could even become closer because of this. I mean, things could get kind of difficult for him, with bullies and things. Now's the time when his real friends are going to show themselves, and he'll be able to see that you're really there for him.

Going through that, you'll realize how much you care about him, and really begin to accept everything and get used to it. Helping him and talking to him more about everything will help you adjust to everything.

XOXO
KAT.

[view]


(Rating: 5) Thanks for the advice. No, there aren't any lingering feelings lol. At least, not anymore if there were...But thank you. I do plan to stick by his side because I realize that's very important.

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker