about

I don't judge. I've seen a lot, and the things I haven't, I'm always open to listening to. I want to make a difference.

advice

First off, what would be your definition of "fake"? People use that word in so many different ways, that I don't understand what it is anymore.

Anyways,..

This past year, I have lost many of my so called "best friends" over things that I did not do. Lately, people keep screwing me over like crazy. My friends would do the stupidest things and it just makes me think twice, how many chances should I give these people after all of the things that they did to me.

I have major trust issues and it's so hard for me to let go .. but I honestly don't know what to do. I stand up for myself at all times and I feel like I'm too nice sometimes.

I'm emotionally drained from being hurt and I don't know how to take it.

Are second chances always good, even third? Can some people ever change after being so "fake" towards me.

I just need any advice. Thank you.

'Fake', in my opinion would be: Acting like something you're not to impress others. That, or lying/giving opposite impressions to get something out of it. Basically, being untrue to gain something.

It's common to have 'drama' with friends, but if they're acting badly towards you over things you didn't do, set the record straight! It's not fair to you that they're making accusations/going against you. Also, even if you did do something wrong, don't you believe YOU deserve the second chances, too? It's hard to stand up for yourself, but if someone's wrongfully accusing you, let them know they're, well.. WRONG. You're not being a bad friend if you tell them they're not right, just as long as you're being honest.

It sounds like they're the ones who are messing up more, though. Put yourself in their shoes: Would you think you deserved a second chance? Don't let them by with no talk or anything. Make sure if you're deciding to give them a second chance, that you talk to them about what happened. If they seem remorseful, remember that EVERYONE makes mistakes, it's human nature. However, if they don't seem to really care, tell them what's wrong with it. It's up to you then, whether or not you forgive and forget, but remember that if they don't seem to regret anything, they won't hesitate to do it again.

According to the above 'guilt factor', that should determine how many chances you give. No one's perfect, and if your friends realize what they do is wrong, you should really consider all the chances they need. Some people naturally make more mistakes than others, and some of them would probably be really bothered to lose you as a friend. Then, the others who don't really seem to care, well do they really deserve your friendship? I mean, don't call them out after one strike, but really consider where you are as a friend to them, and how your life would be without them. If it seems better, kind of shy away, or try to fix the problems.

The ones who you really have as good friends will show their true colors, and if these people don't seem to 'shine' at all, think about if they're really improving your life at all. Get the best for yourself, because that's what you deserve!

XOXO
KAT.

[view]

(Rating: 5) Thank you.

You were a big help.
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker