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I'm that person that everyone calls or e-mails when they need advice. It doesn't matter the subject, they contact me. I don't give you the answer you want to hear and most of my advice is not your mother's advice, if you want your mom's advice--Go ask your mom or mother figure. If you ask a question you will always get an honest answer--note: I did not say the answer you want-- I said an honest answer. If you ask me something I have to research to answer, I will research it and provide you with the source if you ask.

advice

im 14 years old, and for some time i thought i might be sexually abused as a child, but i cant remember. i was adopted at 7 an before then i wood visit my biological family, an they wer into things children shouldnt be around. but anyway, recently i found a book on telling if you wer sexually abused as a child, i have more than half the symptoms, and i have these flashbacks of a white man, who had white hair and white facial hair. growing up ive been terrified of santa clause, the dark and open closets at night. i never added it all up til i read that book. i cant remember exactly though, so what should i do? leave it alone or tell someone? but i dont think anyone wold believe me anyway. im really not sure if im ready to face the truth if it happened, and besides if i cant remember, then maybe its my imagination right?

There are a lot of therapists that try to say everyone who has a reaction like yours is repressing hcildhood memories. It's possible you are scared of santa because one scared you when you were a child at a store--that's just as plausible. Thousands of people are scared of open closets at night---I'm a grown woman with children and I still close the closet doors at night when I go to bed and I was not sexually abused.


People who write books like that are usually trying to create popularity for themselves and can take common symptoms of life and change them to fit a particular scenario. They are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and seem to not care for the people they hurt in the process.

Being adopted means your parents probably have an entire history on you from before they adopted you. I would think that if sexual abuse had been a part of it they would have you in therapy. If you really believe you have been abused you need to see a therapist anyway. I would ask my parents if I were you if they have your medical history from prior to your adoption. At your age you have a legal right to your own medical records. You may not have a legal right to your adoption information until you are 18 depending on the state you are in but your medical records are fair game unless sealed by a judge. Talk to your Dr and see what he/she says.


Remember most of those books are written for a purpose and a lot of them are written by quacks. Just because you read it in a book and show the symptoms doesn't mean it's what really happened. For example: I have been nauseaous, had breast pain & swelling, no periods, mood swings and weight gain for more than 3 months--all common symptoms of pregnancy in a normally healthy 33 year old female. I had severe pain that sent me to the hospital recently and the ER Dr said "you're having a miscarriage, we need to do an ultrasound" He didn't ask any other questions and made his diagnosis based on the symptoms and not the facts or my medical history. I had a partial hysterectomy almost 10 years ago and can not get pregnant or have children---I'm starting menopause and had a kidney stone. See why it's best to have ALL the facts before thinking the worst? Hope this helps.

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(Rating: 5) thank you for the advice. it helped. i am in therapy because ive been deeply depressed for most of my life and no one can figure out why, i cant even figure it out. im too afraid to tell anyone what i think. theres no proof. and i still visited my momm when i was little and there was always different people and she was into drugs and gangs. so no one would know. but my mother is now in jail, and i still dont know the whole story
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