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I am open, honest, truthful yet also insightful and understanding. I am a Strong woman with morals, belief, and character. I value life, myself and life of everything, everyone and all. I am mature, caring, giving, straight up and real!

I am not harsh, rude, or disrespectful but I am going to tell you the truth because you are asking for that. If you want a lie or support that you know is invalid because you question it yourself, please don't get mad at me for the truth because that is what sets us ALL free!! Peace, Venom



advice

On May 22 I was given devistating news that after an 18 month battle with cancer my 9 year old cousin would die in any where from 2 days to 2 weeks. This news devistated me and left me not only depressed but i found myself isolating myself from others. Images ranging from him laying in bed paralized (he became paralized from teh waste down) to him laying there thinking (his organs began shutting downa nd week 2 he was not responding to anything) On June 4 he passed away which just sent me more into a down hill sprial. More images poured into my head and again more after his funearl on June 7. Now i find myself seeing his face every time i close my eyes-- pictures of him in his casket or burning in fire ( he was cremated after his viewing & service)

now i'm stuck.. trying to start a new beginging without him in ym life but with no help

i wnot talk to anyone but my boyfriend about it- and he seems to avoid the topic because he doesnt know waht to say.

so what do i do?
hwo do i move on with life?
how do i wake up every morning withotu first thinking if it was a terrible dream?

life has to go on, the world wont stop for me.. so what now?

i need to learn to "move on"
i'll never forget his strength, his courage, or his smile


but im afraid that if i move on, i'll forget
and i just can't let it be tru ein my head

so now what?
i just need help..
experiences, spiritual guidence- anything

please help!


I am sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin. My heart truly goes out to you, as I have been there.

I understand completely. My grandmother passed away in 1998.It is now 2008 and I still hurt the way I did when the family found someone bold enough to tell me. I was very close with her. I used to live with her, and she was like my mother, more of a mother figure to me than my real mother.

Celebrate his birthday, every year. I let balloons go for my grandmother's birthday and I light candles all over the house. Her birthday is a spiritual ritual for me that will never be broken, because my 3 children also do this and will continue once I have passed. Also, why not start up a fund for children with cancer or help get donations to make a large one to funds or charities already started on his behalf?

Why not start a group for people to chat or talk about the ones they love so dearly and have passed away? Don't forget his life and let not his death be in vain - seriously.

Moving on is something that has to be done, as life moves on you must move with it, in order to sustain and achieve things in life that your cousin would've looked up to you for doing, but now he is looking down on you from above as you do it.

I have come to learn that those who leave us physically haven't left us spiritually or mentally. remember that. As a matter of fact, I still talk to my grandmother in my mind, in my dreams and when I do it, I can feel her right there. I have gone through some hell since she has passed, but as I go through it and come out of it there is a strength there combined with God's and I feel that it is her.

Part of the reason I chose to help others is because she helped me and others so much and I refuse to allow her death be in vain. Death is viewed as negative because of the pain involved, and that's so understandable. There is also a positive within it to. The first positive is that there is no more suffering, sickness or pain. The second positive is that you have the ability to help others who are going through this. As you help others heal, you are also healing yourself too. The dreams that you are having, really compels me to encourage you to seek counseling now rather than later.

I am praying for your strength to carry this tremendous load up the mountain placed before you. Keep climbing, you are going to reach the top one day. Never forget his life because he will live on inside of your heart, soul and mind. Remember the good times and look forward to better times! my email address is sophia_pettus@yahoo.com. FEEL FREE to email me at any time.

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(Rating: 5) Thank-you.. Thank you SO much.
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