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advice

My husband is 29, his sister is my age 21. They have, in my opinion, the most inappropriate relationship ever. She'll come and just sit in his lap and cuddle up with him. Or if shes sitting on the couch he will sorta attack her in a huge bear hug and end up on top of her. Once he was eating dessert and she came and sat on his lap and he started to feed her from his dessert. He didn't even think to offer me until after she had already eaten from his spoon. I don't know what all of you think, but I find this utterly disgusting...its weird, gross, and just plain wrong!

I talked to him about it, and he felt that I was being ridiculous and said that I have intimacy issues because in my family we are not all over each other. yaa we give hugs and stuff..but wrestling with each other on the couch and sitting on laps, and feeding each other...thats just weird. He was like, she is my sister! I told him, "EXACTLY! she's your sister...thats why I have such a problem with this". I even told him that I dont want her sitting on his lap any more..shes not a small child and its not cute when she comes and sits on his lap. He had the nerve to tell me he'll think about it...not okay I understand this is bothering you and I'll stop... he's just going to think about it. How wonderful..

I know no one can really do anything about this, but I guess I just need to see what others think about this. Is it just me or is it weird for siblings to treat each other the same way they would treat their significant others; minus the kissing on the lips and sex?

All answers are welcome and much appreciated. :)

SEE MY EDIT: I got your note, girl.. email me sophia_pettus@yahoo.com so we can talk some more. I didn't know how to send you a note besides this way. "sorry"


I have no biological brothers or sisters. I am an only child. just me.. none the less, my older cousin is 11 years older than me and I was raised as if he was my older brother. We say we are brother and sister now and we are very close now. Everytime I see him which is every day, he hugs me and I kiss his cheek or he kisses my cheek. What I am saying is that all families are very different thus far as showing affection.
I sit in my fiance's lap all the time, but that's different. I understand your concerns which I am going to address. I don't sit in my brother's lap anymore but I remember when I used to.

You are having some self issues of concern, and yes they should be respected by your husband for the fact that it takes you out of your element and makes you feel uncomfortable. He should be willing to do whatever makes you comfortable. I don't think that incest has happened or will happen but I do think that you honestly have some esteem and insecurity issues that you need to deal with internally without your husband. I also sense some jealousy to the extent of not getting this type of attention from him, yet you want it.

I think he is very selfish in making his comment when you expressed your feelings pertaining to his sister sitting in his lap. We would've had some serious issues if he would've told me that and not acted on it. He could be part of the reason that self esteem, jealousy and insecurity could potentially exist. So, I feel your concern, I even understand them but first you have deal with it for self first and your marriage secondly.

GOOD LUCK.





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(Rating: 5) the thing is i do get that attention from him. and it kind of weirds me out that the same attention he gives me is given to his sister. like for example, he playfully bites my shoulder sometimes...he duz the same thing to his sister. i know everyone has a different way to show affection, but don't you think this is going to the extreme?? and I honestly don't feel insecure or feel that i lack any self esteem. I dont think I'm jealous either, but I do know that the way he holds her on a pedestal bothers me immensely.
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