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The biological father of the baby is the other guy and he says he can't wait to be a father. But me and my husband are trying to work things out and he wants to claim the baby as his own. Which legally the baby is considered his because we are still married. I know it would be easier on our relationship if the other guy is not involved in our lives at all. But should I just shut the other guy out and not let him have anything to do with the baby?
I just wanna say I'm glad you didn't take my advice the wrong way. When I read your question, I was mad at my own mother but took it out on you instead. She did the same, only she had been married to my father for 12 years. She left him for a younger guy, knowing very well he was married and had a family, and he kicked her to the curb for a younger woman, but not before leaving her with a baby and some money for an abortion. My dad and her didn't get back together, but he loves my sister as if she was his own. More than that actually, because he loves her more than me (I don't get jealous). He comes to, and calls my house every day to ask for her, and he keeps absolutely no grudge against my mom. If the baby's biological father wants to be there for her, you should let him do so. If not, to hell with him. There's a Spanish saying that may not make much sense in English, but its true. It goes: "padre no es el que enjendra, si no el que cria". It basically means that "father" isn't just the one who mated with your mom to make you, but most importantly, the one who actually stuck around to raise you. Your husband has a huge heart if he's willing to do that, and I hope one mistake is enough for you to learn, because he doesn't seem like the type you should deliberately cause pain to. Not everyone is willing to forgive and give second chances, much less raise a child that's not their own. My sister was born a day before my birthday, she's 7 months now. Anyone who knows her can tell you how she lit up everyone's life, and she's proof that people can learn to forgive and forget, and that children can create bonds no one else possibly could. I hope this helps you in some way, and I wish you luck with your new family.
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Thanks for your help and telling me about your situation. You've been a big help!
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