Ugo's advice column

askUgo

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 17/F
My mom is always mistreating my dad. You can tell she's discontented, but honestly that is her problem. She chose to marry my dad and he tries his best. He just got over his depression and she is there to pull him out of every good mood that follows. This relationship makes me unhappy and very sympathetic for my dad. I've said so much, but she is immune to anything I say. She refuses to go to family counseling. I'll admit, my family doesn't have any baggage rooting from the past, but there is no point of being in a relationship if you aren't going to appreciate the person. Help...how can I change her outlook?

While your mum choose to marry your dad, your dad also choose to marry her as well, and from the sounds of things, every day he continues to choose to stay married to your mum. While it is sad to see your parents constantly in conflict with each other, it's important for you to maintain your own level of sanity. This can be achieved by recognizing what you can control in your parents' marriage, and that is nothing. None of the fighting is your fault, and there is nothing you can ever do to make any thing right between your parents. Their issues will only be successfully resolved if both sides make a decision to put the conflicts to an end, or one or both sides makes a decision to dissolve the marriage. Sorry you don't have the power to change your mother's outlook.
Take care of yourself.

Rating: 5

Thank you. You're very wise.

bio

Ugo is a licensed professional counselor in Arizona. He holds a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters of Science in Counseling Psychology. He is also the host of Road 2 Resolutions, a web site dedicated to addressing questions on mental health issues and conflict resolution issues.
Please visit Road2Resolutions.com for more questions and monthly newsletters.