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Q: Hi! I just read your advice on this question. http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=536047

Anyway, i have a similar problem, except the boy isnt bad, and he does like me.

oh one more thing. hes my ex.

and were not going out because we both said we didnt want a relationship right now. but honestly i wouldnt mind one.

but now wer acting like we are dating. flirting at partys and texting non-stop.

and its driving me crazy because its so serious, like "your all i need in my life" and im not even in high school yet! i just think its not the right time for a relationship like that.

but if we stopped talking id miss him so much. and i dont know what to say to him even if i did want to stop talking forever. i guess my question is,
do you think i should stop talking to him, or tell him what im thinking and see his reaction, or just avoid him? or leave things the way they are? im worried if i tell him, then hell be like, okay we wont be serous but then after a while we will be.

and what if hes just like, this is too much drama your right lets stop talking? i guess id like that the most because it would mean all this is over but then...
how do i deal with that?
and what do i tell the kids at school? they keep asking me if i like him.

im sorry i guess hes got me a bit confused and i need some help figuiring it out.

thanx so much!

Well, it sounds like you would rather just break this off.

Avoiding him at this point will probably hurt his feelings, and may even cause' him to be mean to you later on (don't want any nasty gossip going around).

So maybe the best thing to do is to remind him that you BOTH agreed that you weren't ready for anything serious.

If he says, "ok, we won't" and then continues to be serious..then you will need to be a bit more firm, but kind. If he continues to attempt to try to make the relationship serious: Just kept reminding him, each time a little more firmer, that you two had a pact, that you are really NOT ready to commit to anything like that, that you like him a lot and enjoy "hanging out", but your just NOT ready for anything like that right now, (not ready for a commitment, and/or think it's better for you both to remain single).

If he just stops talking to you because of this, it will likely mean that he got hurt (not your fault). If that happens tell him that you weren't trying to hurt him, and that you value his friendship and don't want to lose something that valuable, just because your not ready to commit.

If the kids at school ask about it, just tell them that it just isn't working out between you two the way BOTH OF YOU thought it might- that you prefer to be friends, that way you BOTH can leave your options open right now. Use the words "both of you" that way he is much less likely to be hurt or "embarrassed" by what you say to others.

Hope this helps, if you need to, you can contact me again!
Jasmine

Rating: 5

Jasmine thank you so much! that helped a lot. im teling him right now. ill let you know how it goes!

bio

I'm a 36 year old mom who has too much life experience. I realize that, no matter your age, life throws some crazy curve balls at you when you least expect it. I know in my heart that absolutely no one is perfect..and we all make wrong decisions at one time or another; and sometimes we just need someone to help us out without being judgmental! Furthermore, I think that the only stupid question is the one that you don't ask...knowledge is power.

One of my favorite sayings:
"If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones."

Well folks, we ALL live in glass houses at one time or another!

Never say never,
Jasmine